


eyes like summer skies, words like the ocean blue

by jypeach



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Age Difference, Infidelity, Inspired by a Movie, Lots of Weed, M/M, Road Trips, Smut, Stay Strong, Threesome, and beer, and cursing, i just really fucking loved this movie ok, i'm sorry baekstans, very!!! complicated!!! relationships!!!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-04
Updated: 2018-04-04
Packaged: 2018-12-26 19:24:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 29,321
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12065439
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jypeach/pseuds/jypeach
Summary: A sexless summer left Chanyeol and Sehun at the hands of Byun Baekhyun, a married man who no longer had anything left to lose.Based on "Y tu mamá también"





	eyes like summer skies, words like the ocean blue

**Author's Note:**

> I watched this movie earlier this month, loved it, and couldn't help but turn it into a chanbaek (?) fic with Sehun added to the mix because why not.
> 
> Just a word of caution: There is a lot of drug use and drinking in this, and of course smut because it's me lol 
> 
> I really recommend you guys watch the movie if you have the time, I don't think I do it enough justice even if it's pretty much an adaptation of it. 
> 
> Hope you guys enjoy!
> 
> P.S. Shout out to Z and I for letting me cry about this to you guys <3 I actually did it :')

Almost a week had gone by since both Chanyeol and Sehun had said goodbye to their boyfriends who were probably basking in the warm, Barcelona sun, indulging in Italian gelato and more likely than not, fucking a bunch of hot French dudes.

Chanyeol and his boyfriend in particular had made an oath not to sleep with anyone else while they were apart. Of course, that oath had been made while Chanyeol was balls deep in him as a final, lust driven goodbye but that didn’t necessarily make it any less meaningful.

While he had every intention to keep that promise, a week without sex was starting to take its toll on both of them.

They tried passing the time smoking joints in Chanyeol’s house, or at house parties where everyone but them got laid. Even Minseok, a well known homebody had partaken in his first orgy while Chanyeol and Sehun sat in the living room, completely stoned out of their minds.

 But not even the high was enough to replace what it was they yearned for. Their boyfriends have spoiled them; sex on a daily basis had become the norm and breaking two nineteen year olds away from that was rough.

 With that said, both had their sights set on the wedding of a distant relative of Chanyeol’s to finally break their dry spell because God knew it was only a matter of time before they actually resorted to fucking each other, an ultimatum neither wanted to even remotely consider. Plus, groomsmen were always easy targets with the right amount of cocktails.

One good thing about Chanyeol belonging to a wealthy family was that parties, without question, were always top notch.

This wedding in particular had to be the fanciest Sehun had ever attended, he could only guess the President of the _fucking country_ being on the guestlist had something to do with it. They’d rented out an entire race track just for the event and served only the finest of spirits and liquors to guests dressed in the most luxurious designer brands.

 For the most part, Sehun dubbed them all as superficial snobs but that didn’t mean he wouldn’t very gladly drink all their alcohol. Coors had shit on Chardonnay.

 “Fucking hell. How many guards do you think are here?” Chanyeol pondered, glancing around the venue and easily detecting six of them within his peripheral vision.

“Beats me, dude. Every guy here is wearing the same $40,000 suit, it’s hard to tell who’s who.”

 Shrugging, Chanyeol leaned against one of the pillars and took a hearty gulp out of his glass, surprised when his father came up to them looking less than thrilled at his son’s disheveled appearance; his shirt untucked, pants untapered and leather shoes that hadn’t been properly polished in years.

 Mr. Park grunted under his breath as he grabbed the waistline of his son’s pants and tucked his untidy shirt into it before attempting to fix the boy’s jacket as well to make him look presentable.

 “Son, this isn’t one of your little house parties, you need to look like you actually want to be here. Like you actually _belong_ here. Can you do that for me?”

 Annoyed, Chanyeol pulled away to gulp down another drink.

 “Yeah, I guess.”

 “Good. Now, the Lees have been looking all over for you, go say hello.”

 “But dad-”

 “No buts, they’ve always treated you well, son. Go on, now. Some better posture wouldn’t kill you, either.”

 Deflated, Chanyeol rolled his eyes and finished off the last of his glass.

 “Fine. I’ll go over there in a sec.”

 Sehun would never not find it laughable over how different Chanyeol was outside of home. The guy was a total smartass, never afraid to stand up to anyone and put them in their place. Anyone except his very strict (and at times, very scary) father.

Happy with his son obliging to his demand, Mr. Park strolled off with the rest of his rich, old friends, probably to talk about golf or something, and left an irked Chanyeol and his friend on their own again.

“God dammit, the Lees have that one daughter that’s been hitting on me since we were ten.”

“The one with the gross teeth?”

 “Ugh, don’t remind me.” Chanyeol pulled a face and beckoned a waiter carrying an entire tray of whisky, helping himself to two glasses for liquid courage. “I’ll be back from war soon.”

Sehun chuckled watching his longtime friend completely transform from just Chanyeol to Park Chanyeol, son of one of the city’s most powerful government officials. He knew how hard it was for him to keep a straight face as he greeted the Lees, especially she-who-must-not-be-named, when deep down he couldn’t care less about how “lovely” their trip to Prague had been.

Rich people may have everything in life, but wealth certainly didn’t buy them a personality.

Sehun treated himself to yet another glass of wine as he stood by the open bar, wondering whose heart he was going to break tonight. Jongin had only sent _one_ dick pic since he’d left, a guy had needs.

Unfortunately, there were no real contenders as of yet, and if there were, they were taken, straight, or the one getting married. Oops. He was about to resign any hope of getting laid when a petit fellow dressed in a milk white suit strolled past him with his own glass of wine perched daintily in his hand, looking like he’d just stepped out of a high couture ad.

Sehun watched him intently as he crossed over to the stairs leading to a higher tier and used the rail to get up, the boy only managing to make out the top of his head as he did so.

Well. This wedding just got a whole lot better, didn’t it?

****

Apart from the free alcohol, Chanyeol hated any type of family event. Mostly because it involved him having to actually spend time with said family.

Don’t get it twisted, though. He loved them. In his own way of course, but the love was there.

It was just that some of them, namely the women, could get a tad bit… overwhelming.

Like his Aunt, for example, who never got tired of telling him how tall he’d gotten every time they saw each other despite the fact that Chanyeol had stopped growing when he was 16.

“Is that my little Yeollie bear? My word, you’ve gotten so tall! And so handsome! The girls must be all over you!”

She also seemed to forget that Chanyeol was openly gay, and that no, auntie, it’s not just a phase. But he wasn’t in the mood to correct her today. Just some more water under the bridge.

“Nice to see you too, Auntie.”

“Have you seen your cousin Yifan yet? He’s back from studying his doctorate abroad, I’m sure he’ll be thrilled to see you! Yifan, dear!”

A tall, strikingly handsome man got up from the table and smiled when he recognized his younger cousin, greeting him with a firm handshake.

“Chanyeol! It’s been ages! How are you doing?”

“Did you hear, Yifan? Little Chanyeol wants to be a writer, too! You should take him under your wing. I’ll let you two catch up, I’m sure you have so much to talk about! Cheers!” The woman sang, raising her glass and wandering off.

Finally.

“I love that woman, but damn, can she be a pain in the ass.” Yifan chuckled and raised a toast which Chanyeol promptly responded to by clinking his glass against the elder’s. Amen to that.

“Look at you, all grown up. Last time I saw you, you were a tiny little thing always crying about wanting a Power Ranger.”

“It was a Furby.” Chanyeol corrected him.

“Right, a Furby. Forgive me.” He joked as Chanyeol lit up a cigarette. “I didn’t know you wanted to be a writer. What do you want to write? Little children’s books?”

In the time his cousin had been away, Chanyeol had also forgotten what a huge prick he could be.

“Nah. I was thinking I’d write more about assholes like you.” He told him, nonchalant as he took a drag from his cigarette.

Yifan let out a huff of laughter and smirked.

“Well, let me tell you something right off the bat, little ‘cuz. It’s one thing to write little fairy tale stories and another to write actual literature.” 

Okay, so not only was he a prick, he could also be a pretentious prick. Great.

“Yeah? And when do _you_ start?”

Clearly this was the first time anyone had dared to pop Yifan’s bubble and the man was conflicted as to how to properly respond. But all those years away had definitely given Chanyeol some spunk. He couldn’t be completely mad about it.

“All I’m going to say is, if you really want to be a writer, it’s going to be a lot harder than just getting some words down on paper.” Yifan cautioned, indifferent when Sehun, who had come to share his latest discovery, appeared right besides them. “It’s an art that takes an entire life to perfect. You need to have experienced things, lived. What have _you_ lived, Chanyeol?”

Again, Chanyeol’s family putting him through so much shit was always a guaranteed laugh out of Sehun who snickered to himself as he bent down to tie his shoe.

“Yeah, Yeol. What _have_ you lived?” He teased, popping back up unceremoniously and in the process, knocked Yifan’s glass right onto his khaki suit, staining it a deep, bloody red.

“Oh, shit. I’m sorry, here.” He grabbed the older man’s tie and began blotting the mark with it, evidently making it worse.

“What the fuck! Get off me! This was my favorite suit, dammit!” Yifan assessed the damage done, frowned and pushed Chanyeol away when he tried to help cleaning it as well.

Thankfully, the sound of metal clinking against glass filled the entire track, a sign indicating some long, wordy, and boring toast was about to be made and that Chanyeol and Sehun had been spared from Yifan trying to make a scene.

Didn’t anyone ever tell that man not to cry over spilled wine? Geez.

The speech made was really just the bride’s father kissing up to the President for being there, and soon enough both boys had blocked out most of it entirely. Plus, with Sehun’s latest inquisition, the leader of their country was the last of their concern.

“Hey, man. Get over here. I found a total knockout, he went up there.”

Sehun led him up the stairs leading to one of the small balconies the place had. Right there in the corner was the man Sehun had seen only moments before, still with a glass in hand and attentively listening to whatever the man on the mic was droning on and on about.

Chanyeol’s mouth went dry.

This guy was his wet dreams come true.

He was small and fragile looking, with the most beautiful shade of honey brown hair he’d ever seen. There was an unreal elegance to him, like he was royalty and no one there, not even the wealthiest of them all, was worthy of being in his presence.

“Isn’t he gorgeous? Come on.” Sehun urged, running up the last two steps of stairs and dashed to the man’s side. Chanyeol did the same, for once feeling unsure of himself but beauty that pure must have that effect on everyone, he supposed.

“Hi.” He said, using the smirk he knew no one could resist. But maybe this guy was a different story.

The angelic creature next to him spared him half a glance, attention still fixed on the toast being given in the center of the track.

“Hello.”

“Doesn’t this sort of thing bore you?”

Once again, all he got was a brief peek and a barely noticeable shrug.

“No, not really.”

“Seriously?” Sehun stepped in, “Not even a little bit?”

The man humored them with a small raise in the corner of his lips, but not enough to call it a smile.

“Just a tiny little bit, I suppose.”

Both boys broke into exaggerated laughs that made the man seclude himself further into his little nook of the balcony and sip on his drink. Sehun picked up on the uneasiness and slipped back to comfortable small talk.

“So where are you from? I’ve never seen you at any of these parties before.”

“Oh, from Bucheon. But I was living abroad for quite some time.”

“You don’t say. And why are you here, if you don’t mind us asking?” Chanyeol inquired.

Half distracted, the man looked over Chanyeol’s shoulder and noticed Yifan walking up the stairs looking visibly upset.

“My husband’s a relative of the bride, actually. Yifan, what happened?” Pushing past Chanyeol, the small man catered to his husband, inspecting the stain and dabbing at it with his own handkerchief to no avail.

“These two bozos happened. Yeah, I’m talking about you.” Yifan barked, scowling in the two boys’ direction while both of them suppressed their laughter.

Chanyeol’s mother came scurrying up the stairs as well, aghast over the giant stain on her nephew’s lapel.

“Yifan, I can’t introduce you to the President like this! You need a new suit! Oh, dear. Come with me, honey. I can’t have you looking like this.”

“Auntie, it’s fine. It’ll be some other day, we’ll just-”

“No, no. We can fix this, right this way!”

The two friends and Yifan’s husband as they now knew him, stood to the side and watched Mrs. Park carry her nephew off, the latter giving his husband an apologetic look and handed off his replacement drink to him.

Chanyeol scoffed in amazement.

In a short lapse of time, he’d learned three things about his dear cousin Yifan.

One, he was still an asshole. Two, he was a _pretentious_ asshole. And three, he’d married a fucking angel.

“Really? That thing is your husband?” Chanyeol blurted out.

Puzzled as to why some random kid was calling his husband a “thing”, the man nodded.

“Um, yes. Why?”

Realizing his mistake, Chanyeol chuckled and shook his head.

“Sorry, that’s just how we get along. He’s my cousin.”

“And you are?”

“I’m Chanyeol.”

“Chanyeol? As in Ddobi Chanyeol?”

Sehun snorted, remembering Chanyeol’s dreaded childhood nickname that his friend didn’t seem to mind it right now, but who would when it was a celestial being calling you that.

“Yep, that’s me.” The tall boy announced proudly, offering his hand for the man to shake.

“I’m Baekhyun. I met you when you were just a little kid the first time I came here. It was before Yifan and I got married. You were such a little guy back then, you cried a lot about wanting a Furby.”

“That’s right, a Furby. Got a good memory on you. You smoke?” Chanyeol smiled and pulled out another cigarette, the man dressed in white taking it graciously and placing it between his lips, Sehun fumbling with a lighter in his pocket before aiding him in lighting it up.

“Thanks. Wow. I don’t know where that kid went, you’re all man now.”

Chanyeol blushed at the statement while his friend wolf called behind him. Perhaps it was the alcohol thinking for him but he could almost guarantee he saw Baekhyun carefully scan him up and down with a tinge of interest.

 “Thank you. So how long have you guys been here?”

“Almost a month. Yifan’s going to give a couple lectures at some university, but they don’t start until September.”

“Are you guys going on vacation or anything in the meantime? It’d be a waste not to.”

“Unfortunately, no. Yifan has a lot of meetings between now and then in Daejeon. I have to stay home and put the house together, then there’s job interviews on top of that as well so…” Baekhyun lamented. “But if there’s time, I’d love to go to the beach at some point. What about you two?”

Seizing the opportunity, Sehun stepped in.

“ _We’re_ going to the beach.” He bluffed, Chanyeol too confused to even question him.

The idea seemed to delight Baekhyun, whose features became more animated at the prospect.

“Busan, right? Yifan’s spoken wonders about Busan.” He gushed, delving into another drag and letting the smoke pour out of his lips like liquid chrome.

Ugh. Leave it to his cousin to recommend the most touristy beach in the country.

“What? No, Busan is totally overrated. That’s where everyone goes, it’s lame.”

“Exactly. No, the beach we go to is almost private, only the local fishermen know it exists.” Sehun insisted and even Chanyeol would have bought it if he didn’t know his best friend was full of shit.

Baekhyun however, didn’t know this and believed him entirely, curious about this hidden paradise the boy spoke of.

“Oh? What’s it called?”

Now that was something Sehun hadn’t expected. He faltered, looking around the venue and spotting a mosaic of cherubs hanging on one of the walls. That was a start.

“What’s it called? Oh.. um.. You know… Heaven’s…. Heaven’s….” Panicked, he glanced down, noticing the peculiar yet exquisite shape of Baekhyun’s lips then smiled to himself. “Heaven’s Mouth.”

“Heaven’s Mouth?” Chanyeol deadpanned. Improv was definitely not on Oh Sehun’s list of talents.

Holding back his laughter, Sehun shrugged, hinting that the other play along.

“Yeah, dude.”

“Oh yeah, Heaven’s Mouth! It’s beautiful. Like actual heaven on earth.” Chanyeol added, finding it harder to fight back his own laughter over such a ridiculous name.

“Why doesn’t he come with us, man?” Sehun signaled over to Baekhyun, who looked taken back by the indirect invitation.

“Me? You boys would take me?”

“Of course.” They chorused. An angel _did_ belong in heaven, after all.

“Is there anywhere to sleep there?”

“What more do you need than a warm bed of sand and a twinkling blanket of stars?” Chanyeol said, Sehun mentally gagging.

“As for the booze, we can take a few six packs in our cooler or whatever it is you fancy.”

“Sounds fantastic. I’m sure Yifan would love the idea.” Baekhyun grinned, spotting his husband coming back up with a new, darker suit but the same frown he’d been donning earlier. “We’ll think about it. Excuse me, gentlemen.”

The older man waltzed past them, linked arms with Yifan and escorted him back to their table downstairs, but not without glancing over his shoulder again at the two awestruck youngsters, giggling and waving goodbye.

 

****

 

Starting a new life in Seoul was beginning to weigh down on Baekhyun.

 

Things in Korea worked a lot differently than they did back in the States, but he liked to think he was getting used to them. One migraine at a time.

 

Seriously. Traffic in Seoul made L.A. look like a ghost town.

 

But all joking aside, the constant headaches Baekhyun was getting were starting to worry him when they hindered him from getting on with the rest of his day.

 

While Yifan was out of town at his meetings, Baekhyun took the time to schedule a doctor’s visit and get some tests done upon request of the medic.

 

Today he was coming to pick those results up, expecting to walk out with some anti-stress pills and maybe a few vitamins if needed.

 

What he walked out with instead was something he’d never expected and never in a thousand years would have wished for anyone, not even his worst enemy.

He laid in bed until twilight, wondering how he was going to tell Yifan, trying every combination of words possible that would soften the blow but there was never going to be any easy way to tell someone you love that you were dying.

 

Curled up in his sheets, he was startled by the sudden ringing coming from his phone.

 

It was Yifan.

 

Taking what felt like the deepest breath of his life, he picked up the phone with trembling hands, placing it to his ear and stammering a weak hello.

 

“Baekhyun?”

 

“Yes, it’s me, honey.”

 

The line then went silent, Baekhyun repeating his lover’s name twice before the sound of broken sobs resonated in the dark room, putting Baekhyun even more on edge.

 

“Yifan, honey. What’s wrong? What happened?”

 

More crying came from the speaker before Yifan finally managed a sniffle and began explaining himself.

 

“It’s just that.. I’m- I’m really fucking drunk, Baek.”

 

“Then go to sleep, we can talk tomorrow morning, alright?” He creaked, shrinking into himself.

 

Staggered breathing came from the phone, Baekhyun growing nauseous with every passing second.

 

“O-Okay. I’ll be back in a few days. I love you, Baekhyun. I love you so fucking much.”

 

Moisture began to line his eyes, Baekhyun quickly blinking the unshed tears away.

 

“I- I love you, too, Yifan.” He rasped, an ominous woe consuming him whole.

 

“Oh, man. I’m fucking idiot. I am such a fucking piece of shit. Such a fucking piece of shit.” Yifan continued to curse, his words punctuated by hiccups.

 

“Go to bed, honey. You’re drunk.” He pleaded, more for his sake than Yifan’s. Whatever his husband had called for, Baekhyun didn’t want to hear it. Not now. Not ever.

 

“Shit, shit, shit, shit!” The sound of glass crashing on the floor came from Yifan’s end of the line, Baekhyun sitting up straighter and clutching his phone even closer to him.

 

“Yifan, calm down. What’s wrong? Are you alright, honey?”

 

Nothing but labored breathing was all he could hear for the next handful of seconds, panic beginning to rise and accelerate his heartbeat. His lover’s name started to form on his lips again but Yifan had finally mustered up the drunken courage to speak. Baekhyun wished he never had.

 

“I- I slept with someone else, Baekhyun.” He disclosed somberly, sniffling. “I told you I’m a piece of shit.”

 

A punch to the stomach.

 

That was the only thing Baekhyun could describe his current feeling as.

 

Air leave his lungs, his body staggering to recover oxygen.

 

But it wasn’t disbelief that he was experiencing.

 

No, it was disgust. Helplessness. Incompetence.

 

This third time hurt just as much as is had the first, but the fact Yifan was finally admitting to it was what killed him inside.

 

Because while to Yifan it was nothing more than a confession of his infidelity, to Baekhyun it was confirmation of his worst fears that had frequented him for the past eight years of their relationship; that Baekhyun had never been and would never be enough for him.

 

“Baekhyun?” Yifan called out, concerned it’d been ten seconds of absolute silence.

 

Voice tremulous, the man cleared his throat, unable to stop the tears from rolling down his cheeks. His bones began to ache, every movement, however small pained him, leaving him frozen in silence.

 

“Why are you telling me this, Yifan?” His words came out as mere squeaks, barely intelligible behind the stifled cries but his husband still managed to hear him crystal clear.

 

Yifan once again began to break down in loud cries of his own, Baekhyun shutting his eyes as he shook his head in hopes that this was all a nightmare he could wake up from. It had to be. It _had_ to.

 

“I love you, baby. I love so you much.”

 

“Why are you telling me this, Yifan? Why now?” He demanded, bitter tears at last finding themselves on his taste buds.

 

_Why now when I need you the most?_

 

He tucked his legs into his chest, cradling himself as his entire being felt like it was being torn apart from the inside, distress flooding and seeping into every fiber.

 

“Baekhyun? Baekhyun?” His husband repeated, but Baekhyun couldn’t find it within himself to speak or do much of anything for that matter.

 

What more was there to say?

 

He hung up the phone, throwing it aside carelessly and buried his face into his pillow, soaking the fabric with tears until they’d been emptied out of him, pains in his chest from all the wheezing and uncontrollable sobbing.

 

So this is what it had come to.

 

His entire life had been infested with tragedy after tragedy and now he was one himself.

 

The resentment held towards Yifan was no longer there. It’d been replaced by some perverse derivative of empathy, perhaps even pity for his husband.

 

In a way, he’d asked for this, maybe just maybe, he even deserved it.

 

He had since three years ago when he told Yifan he wasn’t ready to have kids just quite yet, despite how much the latter insisted otherwise.

 

He’d asked for it when he refused to attend the parties Yifan’s friends threw out of fear of sticking out like a sore thumb, nowhere near as posh or educated as his husband’s colleagues; Yifan having no choice but to stay home, and Baekhyun always finding him the morning after checking all the pictures he should have been part of with a longful stare.

 

He’d asked for it when he selfishly let all his problems become Yifan’s too, no matter how reluctant he’d been to do so.

 

He’d asked for it when Yifan had given him a love he was entirely unworthy of.

 

Getting the news of both his illness and his husband’s unfaithfulness couldn’t be a mere coincidence. In some sick, twisted way, this had to be divine intervention stepping in, giving Baekhyun a sign.

 

Maybe he was becoming a burden to Yifan and everyone else around him; maybe he always had been.

 

Whatever the case, those days were over.

 

It was official: Park Chanyeol had officially given up on getting laid for the next month until Luhan came back.

 

The only man worthy of his time was married to his cousin and he was pretty sure that would to some degree, count as incest.

 

Frankly though, this arrangement wasn’t as bad as he made it out to be.

 

He got to sit at home, feet up on the coffee table, playing video games while eating a sandwich their maid had prepared for him followed with a crate of beer.

 

It wasn’t exactly how he envisioned spending his summer, but it was _something_.

 

Having fallen into this mundane routine of his, it was quite the surprise when their maid interrupted his game to tell him he had a phone call.

 

If Sehun had wanted to hang out, Chanyeol was sure he would have without any previous notice. So that ruled him out. All his other friends were out of the country, so he hadn’t the faintest idea who the hell would be calling him.

 

“Hello?” Chanyeol mumbled with a mouthful of bread.

 

“Chanyeol? Hi. It’s Baekhyun. Do you remember me?”

 

Jaw dropping, Chanyeol quickly chewed on the remaining bits and swallowed roughly, pausing his game and turning his TV off altogether.

 

“Yes, yes, yes. Hey. How are you?” He said, clearing his throat.

 

“Good, thanks. I’m glad I reached you. You said you and Sehun were leaving today, right? Is it still too late to tag along?”

 

“Going where?”

 

“To the beach. Uh, Heaven’s Mouth, I think you said it was called?”

 

Chanyeol’s eyebrows stitched together, puzzled. Lies were hard to keep track of.

 

Then it hit him.

 

“Oh. Oh, right. Yeah. We leave today, probably in the afternoon sometime.” He fibbed.

 

“Do you guys have everything all set?”

 

Chanyeol looked around his messy living room, plates of food and empty beer bottles littering the floor.

 

“Uh… we’re actually in the middle of that right now.”

 

“I see. Just a quick question, is the offer still open? You know, to join you guys?”

 

Dammit. Chanyeol didn’t think the guy had taken them seriously at the wedding. What was he supposed to say now?

 

“Oh… well, um… actually… it’s just that-”

 

Without even having to see him, Chanyeol could mentally picture the enthusiastic smile Baekhyun had been wearing disappear upon catching drift of the implications of the his stalled reply.

 

“Guess not. It’s alright, don’t worry about it.”

 

“No, no, wait!”

 

This was a once and a lifetime opportunity. There was no way Chanyeol was going to blow it.

 

“I really don’t want to be a bother-”

 

“You wouldn’t, really! Uh, tell you what. Send us your address and we’ll come pick you up, yeah?” Chanyeol offered, surprised with himself because what the hell was he saying?

 

He heard Baekhyun perk up, the sound of the suitcase he’d already packed last night zipping closed somewhere in the background.

 

“It’s Sejong Street, Number 1828.”

 

“Cool, see you in a bit.”

 

Immediately after hanging up, Chanyeol dialed Sehun’s number, his leg bouncing up and down impatiently until the other boy answered with a lazy yawn.

 

“‘Sup?”

 

“Are you still asleep, you lazy fucker?”

 

“Just woke up, I stayed up all night spending some quality time with me, myself, and I.”

 

“Well, start getting ready. We’re leaving later.”

 

“Leaving where?”

 

“Heaven’s Mouth.”

 

Sehun snorted and scratched his head, rolling out of bed before slumping into the bathroom and grabbing his toothbrush.

 

“Funny. That place doesn’t even exist, dumbass.”

 

“If we wanna get into Baekhyun’s pants it does.”

 

Stopping dead in his tracks, Sehun set his toothbrush down and leaned against the sink, his full attention fixated on his friend.

 

“Explain yourself.”

 

“He took that shit seriously, man. He wants to go. Think we can take your mom’s car?”

 

“No way, dude. It’s totally fucked, the battery isn’t working. What happened to yours?”

 

“My dad took it away for not applying for the engineering department, told me there’s no future as a writer. What about the _Wolf_?”

 

The “Wolf” was the Oldsmobile Sehun and his brother had bought together and consequently shared, alternating every weekend. It was no Ferrari so to speak, but it did its job.

 

“It’s my brother’s this week, dude. He’s taking his girlfriend to Incheon or something. He’ll never agree to us borrowing it.”

 

“Sure he won’t.” Chanyeol smirked. Had Sehun forgotten who he was speaking to?

 

Within an hour and a half, the two of them caught the subway over to the university Sehun’s brother studied at and worked out a splendid deal thanks to Chanyeol. They’d get the car for the weekend if upon returning, Sehun’s brother would get it for two weeks afterwards.

 

Sehun wasn’t too ecstatic over the terms but they’d gotten a car and with any luck, Baekhyun.

 

Totally worth it.

 

****

 

It didn’t take Baekhyun any longer than two minutes to come down hauling a small blue suitcase and a duffel bag after Chanyeol had told him they were waiting in the car.

 

Both boys rushed to his aid, even if the pieces of luggage barely weighed anything, but Baekhyun appreciated the gesture nonetheless.

 

They set off for the freeway, leaving the big city and all its mayhem behind in the dust.

 

Per his request, Baekhyun had taken shotgun while Chanyeol sat in the back and Sehun agreed to drive the first half of the trip.

 

Neither of them could believe their luck.

 

Here they were, on their way to some nonexistent beach with the most beautiful man alive.

 

And to think that only a few days ago they were jerking off in Chanyeol’s room, sharing a joint and imagining what Baekhyun would look like naked. (Chanyeol insisted he had to have small dick, the guy couldn’t be _that_ perfect.)

 

“Tell us, Baekhyun. What do you do for a living?” Chanyeol started off the conversation, Baekhyun turning to face him.

 

“What do I come off as?”

 

“Mm, don’t know. A social worker?” He guessed.

 

“Cold.”

 

“Teacher?” Sehun chimed in. He would very happily enroll in whichever school Baekhyun taught at. No questions asked. And actually show up to class, for once.

 

“Colder.”

 

“A runway model.” Chanyeol winked, Baekhyun’s lyrical laugh bouncing off the windows of the car.

 

“You are way up in the North Pole, my friend.”

 

“Then what do you do?”

 

“I’m an orthodontics technician.”

 

“What the fuck is that?” Sehun asked, checking the map he’d brought along and praying to every deity out there it would lead them to a half decent beach.

 

“It’s the people who suck up your spit at the dentist, dipshit.” Chanyeol told him as-a-matter-of-factly.

 

“You’re a spit sucker?”

 

Baekhyun laughed again, delighted with the boys’ dynamics.

 

“That’s one way to call us, I guess.”

 

“And you _chose_ to do that for a living?”

 

“Not at all. But when I was younger, I lived with my aunt. She got really sick so I needed to find a job right away to support both of us. That was the only bachelor’s degree I could finish quickly, so there you go.”

 

“But before that, was there something you wanted to do?” Chanyeol peeked over at him when the man grew silent, pursing his lips in deep thought.

 

“Can’t say there was. I was a very indecisive child and school bored the hell out of me. All I knew was that I wanted to travel. I still do.”

 

“Traveling is the shit.” Sehun concurred.

 

“Shut up, the only time you travel is when you’re baked beyond help.” Chanyeol smacked his friend playfully.

 

“I’ve been on a boat twice you fucker, that counts.” Sehun grouched, centering his attention back to the highway.

 

****

 

According to their map, the next rest stop was about an hour away.

 

They were just now starting to realize starting a road trip without eating beforehand had been a terrible mistake.

 

“Yo, Space Cowboy, hand me some chips, would you? I’m fucking starving.” Sehun reached a hand back for the bag Chanyeol was offering him from their supply of junk food.

 

This wasn’t the first time Baekhyun had heard the boys use the unique term during their journey and the curiosity was starting to get the better of him.

 

“What’s that about, The Space Cowboy thing?”

 

Both boys turned to look at each other and snickered. This was obviously a question they got a lot.

 

“As kids, we always argued over which were better: aliens or cowboys. In the end we decided to combine them and voila, the birth of the Space Cowboys. It sounds cool, right?” Chanyeol explained enthusiastically.

 

Baekhyun let out a quiet laugh of his own, shaking his head. He’d forgotten Sehun and Chanyeol were still boys and tended to act like it, too.

 

“You guys are hilarious.”

 

“Nothing funny about being a Space Cowboy. We even have our own Code.” Sehun spoke with a serious tone. Baekhyun laughed again. He didn’t think it was possible to be so grim while saying a phrase as ridiculous as “Space Cowboy” but he’d been proven wrong.

 

He humored the duo, leaning against his seat with his arms crossed.

 

“Lay it on me, I’d love to hear it.”

 

“No way, it’s even more sacred than the Bible.” Chanyeol insisted. “We’d have to kill you if you knew about it.”

 

“I’ll take my chances.”

 

Without hesitation, the two cleared their throats and sat up straight, putting on their best posh accent and went back and forth explaining this holy Code of theirs.

 

“Number one: Thou shalt pride thyself in being a Space Cowboy.” Chanyeol started off.

 

“Two: Pop kills poetry.”

 

“Three: A joint a day takes the troubles away.”

 

“Four: Thou shall never bang another Space Cowboy’s dude.”

 

“Five: Fuck the Giants.”

 

“Six: Death to morals, long live oral!”

 

“Seven: Marrying a power bottom is strictly prohibited. Way too needy.”

 

“Eight: Fuck the Giants.”

 

“You already said that one.” Baekhyun pointed out.

 

“We know. We had to put on there twice because seriously. Fuck the Giants.”

 

_Can’t argue there._

 

“Nine: The truth is awesome but unobtainable. You can’t and won’t ever reach it.”

 

“And last but not least, Number Ten: Any asshole that dares to break any part of this code shall forever lose their status as a Space Cowboy.” Chanyeol capped off, turning to Baekhyun for his reaction.

 

Honestly, he was blown away. Not by the actual content of the Code itself but more so over the fact that at some point in their lives, Chanyeol and Sehun had been _that_ bored to make up an entire Code for themselves. Amazing.

 

“You guys should consider going into politics, you’d be a big hit.” He told them, failing miserably to disguise his smirk and the sarcasm behind his statement.

 

The rest of the drive consisted of Baekhyun asking the two questions about their friendship, wondering how far they went back and was corresponded with tales of their crazy antics that only confirmed their relationship ran skin deep.  

 

But as with most stories, there was an underlying truth to them neither wanted to acknowledge. Buried beneath all the embellished and outrageous anecdotes was the sad, unspoken reality of their friendship.

 

The reality wherein Sehun always left Chanyeol’s birthday parties before he opened presents, too embarrassed to admit that his single mother’s minimum wage salary wasn't enough to afford the new, shiny toys everyone else was getting him.

 

Or the reality wherein Chanyeol would prefer to walk two blocks back to his house than be seen by his neighbors in the beat up car Sehun’s brother would drive him home in after they hung out back in middle school.

 

It was small, seemingly insignificant details like these that had simultaneously constructed and deteriorated their bond, but they’d both been oblivious to them for all this time, there was no point in bringing it up now.

 

Ignorance, as they say, is bliss.

 

****

 

Eventually, after many wrong turns and missed exits, they finally made it to a small, rural town by the side of the road.

 

It seemed quiet and remote but there were a few diners scattered across and that was all the trio needed.

 

They found one that appealed to their tastes and headed inside, taking a seat at the table in the corner of the restaurant; Baekhyun in the center, Chanyeol in front of him, and Sehun to his right.

 

As they waited for their food, Baekhyun began playing with the salt shaker, yet another question coming to mind. If he was going to spend the weekend with these guys, he might as well make an effort to get to know them.

 

“Do you guys have boyfriends?”

 

Sehun nodded casually.

 

“Sure do. His name’s Jongin.”

 

“Mine’s Luhan.” Chanyeol chorused.

 

Huh. Strange.

 

Call him old fashioned, but Baekhyun figured that if they boys had significant others, surely they’d be on this trip with them, wouldn’t they?

 

“And where are they?”

 

“Europe.” Sehun informed him. “They went on vacation together. They’re super chill, though, so we’re not too worried about them doing anything.”

 

_Right…_

 

He’d heard this story hundreds of times and it never had a happy ending. Regardless, Baekhyun couldn’t help but ask anyway.

 

“Which part?”

 

“All over. Mostly Spain though.”

 

Shit. It was worse than he thought.

 

“Yikes.” He voiced out loud, raising his eyebrows and chuckling under his breath.

 

Neither Chanyeol or Sehun understood what Baekhyun had found comical, for they both looked at each other with identical expressions of confusion.

 

“What?” The blonde boy wondered, almost defensively.

 

“What do most people go to Spain for?”

 

“I don’t know? Tapas?” He guessed.

 

“Bullfighting?” Chanyeol chimed in.

 

_Oh, boys. So naive._

 

“Sex. Spanish men are _amazing_ lovers. Trust me, I know what I’m talking about.”

 

The sudden revelation left both boys surprised and somewhat offended, the two of them quickly jumping to their boyfriends’ defense.

 

“No, they’d never do that.”

 

“Yeah, Jongin wouldn’t cheat on me. He said he wanted to get my name tattooed on his left ass cheek.”

 

“And Luhan lost his virginity to me, there’s no way he’d leave me.” Chanyeol attempted to justify.

 

Seeing as he wasn’t getting through to them anytime soon, Baekhyun gave up his case and tried to come up with the nicest way to tell them they were a bunch of idiots if they genuinely believed their boyfriends had gone to Europe with the intention of staying abstinent.

 

“Well, both of them are lucky to have guys who trust them so much.” Was the best he could come up with.

 

Satisfied, the duo dropped the subject as well, distracted by the steaming bowls of food coming their way. All three dug in like they hadn’t eaten in weeks, finishing off their meals with content sighs and gulps of soju.

 

Despite having moved on, Chanyeol was left reflecting back on what Baekhyun had told them. Surely he hadn’t said what he’d said about Europe if he hadn’t lived it himself and that only had the young boy wondering…

 

“What about you, ever go behind Yifan’s back?”

 

The question caught Baekhyun off guard, and rightfully so.

 

“Me? Never.”

 

In his mind, Baekhyun was begging neither were stupid enough to ask the most obvious follow-up question but he’d clearly underestimated their idiocy.

 

“What about him?” Sehun prodded.

 

Baekhyun was proud of himself for keeping his cool. It was a superhuman feat if you asked him, especially when those three words brought him back to that night as he sat alone in his bedroom, weeping his lungs out in what was perhaps the most degrading moment he’d ever experienced in his years alive.

 

Clearing his throat, Baekhyun spoke quietly, doing his best to sound casual.

 

“Yifan… he.. He’s one who needs a lot of love.”

 

Unconvinced, Sehun pried even further.

 

“Is that a yes?”

 

Lucky for Baekhyun, Chanyeol did have even the slightest bit of common sense and picked up on how unsettled the question was making him. As the self proclaimed king of breaking uncomfortable silences, he abruptly stood up and walked over to the mini fridge the diner had.

 

“You guys want a beer?”

 

“Bring me two.” Baekhyun answered, gratuitously accepting both bottles and popping one open as soon as it was handed to him.  

 

“How’d you guys meet?” He wasn't sure why, but Chanyeol could only guess a copious amount of alcohol had some part in it.

 

“It’s the most cliché thing ever. It was at a bar in San Francisco.”

 

Nailed it.

 

“I bet he was drunk off his ass, trying to hit on you.” Chanyeol snickered. Typical douchebag Yifan move.

 

“Quite the opposite actually.” Baekhyun revealed. “I was wasted, needed help getting to the bathroom, Yifan was there to help and the rest is history.”

 

Now that he thought about it, it did make more sense for Baekhyun to have been trashed. (How else would he have found Yifan even remotely charming?)  But the thing was Baekhyun had stuck around afterwards, too. Completely sober. What Chanyeol wanted to know was _why_.

 

“What do you see in him? No offense, but the dude can be an asshole. Even you have to admit that.”

 

Unfaithful as he was, Yifan, deep down had a good heart. In Baekhyun’s darkest hours, Yifan had always been a source a light. And for that he would always be grateful.

 

“We have a lot in common.” He justified, not feeling the need to get into details. Sehun thought otherwise.

 

“Really? Like what?”

 

“Uh... well, for starters, I’m an orphan and he doesn’t have a father. His mother’s just as big a pain in the ass as the aunt I lived with...” As he mentally listed all their similarities, it was inevitable that this brought forth a wave of nostalgia, one unpleasant in every shape and form. “God, just thinking back on those five years I had to take care of her. They were horrible. Yifan was the only one who was there for me, made life bearable.” He pushed down the knot in his throat, disguising it as a sip of soju swallowing bittersweet memories along with it.

 

“Cheers?” Raising his glass, he hoped it would serve as a deflector and that the boys would drop the topic altogether.

 

Thankfully, this time both had enough sense to do just that.

 

****

 

The three of them found a hole in the wall hostel to stay in for the night, both Chanyeol and Sehun considerate enough to give Baekhyun his own room.

 

After dumping his things in their room, Chanyeol was in desperate need of a quick smoke break.

 

Stepping outside, he lit up a fresh cigarette with the lighter he’d borrowed from Sehun, the first inhale of nicotine cloaking his lungs with warm smoke; a momentary pleasure Chanyeol both hated and loved indulging in.

 

However, his bliss was short-lived, interrupted by the sound of muffled crying from the room he was certain had gone to Baekhyun.

 

Awkwardly, he put out his cigarette (even if it pained him) and crept over to the suite, second guessing himself on whether to knock or simply pretend he hadn’t heard a thing. The decision was made for him when, through a shattered piece of the window looking in, he saw a tiny figure scrunched up in the middle of the bed, eyes shut with teardrops racing down rosy cheeks, a hand to his mouth trying its best to conceal all the pain.

 

Chanyeol looked away, feeling guilty for even staying to watch in the first place.

 

This wasn’t right. But he also wasn’t just going to go about this on his own.

 

Jogging back to his and Sehun’s room, he whispered over to his best friend who was in the process of stripping down for bed when he came in, a panicked look in his big, round eyes.

 

“Dude. Come here. Baekhyun’s in his room crying.”

 

Although puzzled, Sehun trailed after the taller boy who led them right back to where Baekhyun was, still appearing just as powerless and pitiful as he had moments prior.

 

Sehun too experienced the same guilt as Chanyeol, eyes dropping as he took hold of his friend’s wrist and dragged him back towards their room.

 

“Let’s get out of here, man. Let him have his space.”

 

The taller boy sighed but allowed the other to pull him away, a dismal sentiment lingering in his chest  keeping him up for most of the night.

 

****

 

“Rise and shine boys! The beach awaits us!” Baekhyun chirped, barging into the shared room where both boys were still fast asleep, a nest of untamed hair on their heads.

 

“What time is it?” Chanyeol groaned, pulling his thin blanket over his head, grumpy due to the very few hours of sleep he actually managed to get.

 

“Time for us to hit the road. Come on, Sehunnie. Get your cute little butt out of bed.”

 

Half asleep, the two youngsters rose and got themselves ready for the day, their mission to hopefully come across an actual body of water at some point.

 

In the few items they'd brought along, Sehun could never forget a small baggie of their stash. He rolled up a quick joint before heading out, the blunt hanging from his lips as he drove.

 

Baekhyun looked over at him in awe.

 

“You can _drive_ like that?”

 

The younger boy chuckled and took the joint out of his mouth, holding it out for Baekhyun.

 

“For sure. You want some?”

 

His friends in the States had also been fond of a couple tokes here and there and if Baekhyun’s memory served him right, some pot was a nice tranquilizer from time to time.

 

Accepting the messy blunt, he took a small huff, then another.

 

Suddenly the third rule in their Code made a lot of sense.

 

“That’s some good stuff you got there.” Sinking into his seat, Baekhyun closed his eyes and let the effects start to take place, unwinding as the sun radiated off his pale skin.

 

In his state of trance, he thoughts drifted back to last night when he was anything but relaxed and at ease. Opening his eyes, he turned around, making sure he could get a look at both boys. He had some unfinished business to handle.

 

“So, kiddos. You think it’s okay to just spy on a man in his room?” He accused with a knowing smirk, entertained by the look of utter shock from being caught red handed on the two’s faces.

 

Immediately, Sehun made his defense. He wanted nothing to do with this.  

 

“Chanyeol’s idea.” He ratted his friend out, Chanyeol stammering as he came up with his own excuse.

 

“I- I was worried.”

 

“You sure you didn’t think you’d get lucky and see me naked?” Smirking, Baekhyun waited for the boy to answer, finding the flushed color in his cheeks childishly adorable.

 

“O-Of course not?”

 

“I don’t believe you. You _really_ didn’t want to see me naked, maybe jerk off a bit?” He challenged, taking another huff and Chanyeol appearing visibly flustered for perhaps the first time ever.

 

So that was a _yes_.

 

Choosing to spare the boy any further humiliation, Baekhyun changed the topic to something else he had been curious about since he’d caught on to both Chanyeol and Sehun’s blatant interest in him. He had to know what he was dealing with here.

 

“Tell me something, have you guys slept with anyone other than your boyfriends?”

 

“A couple guys here and there.” Sehun vaguely told him, Chanyeol scoffing.

 

“Bullshit. Jongin’s the only guy you’ve ever been with.”

 

Sehun shot him a dirty look in the rearview mirror.

 

“What do _you_ know?”

 

Rolling his eyes, Chanyeol sat on the edge of the seat and rested his elbows on the passenger and driver seats.

 

“Please. Enlighten us then, who else have you fucked?”

 

Faltering, Sehun pretended to be more concerned with the road signs than answering.  

 

“There’s, um… Kyungsoo?”

 

Chanyeol threw his head back and laughed.

 

“Yeah, right.” He perched himself on the back of Baekhyun’s seat, ready to spill all the juicy, embarrassing details about his friend’s sex life. “This guy had barely put on the condom and he was already coming. Kyungsoo was out of there faster than it took him to get undressed.”

 

Sehun’s silence was enough to confirm that Chanyeol was, sadly, speaking the truth. But Baekhyun wasn’t going to let the taller boy get away with it. Not by a long shot.

 

“What about you, Chanyeol? How many have _you_ slept with?”

 

Caught off guard, the air of cockiness surrounding him began to dilute into reluctance.

 

“Just like… two or three.”

 

Payback time.

 

“Fuck off,” Sehun snickered, “they’ve all been manwhores. They’d sleep with anybody.”

 

“Oh, is that what you’re into?” Baekhyun raised his eyebrows, newly interested.

 

“They weren’t manwhores!” Chanyeol argued back.

 

“Maybe not by your standards.” Sehun laughed.

 

As was becoming habit, it was now their turn to venture into Baekhyun’s love life, only this time the man had braced himself beforehand.

 

“Did you sleep with a lot of guys before Yifan?” Chanyeol pondered. “Surely you did.”

 

“Believe it or not, I didn’t. I was kind of late in the game, I met Yifan early on.”

 

“Shit, don’t tell us you were a _virgin_.” Sehun gasped.

 

Baekhyun dismissed the thought.

 

“No, I wasn’t. I did have one boyfriend before him, he was incredible.”

 

The way Baekhyun was expressing himself had dirty thoughts running wild in Sehun’s mind.

“I bet you guys went at it like rabbits.” He smiled, a wiggle in his eyebrows.

 

“Kinda. Actually though, the first time we did it I felt so guilty and I even told myself next time he wanted to, I wasn’t going to let it happen. But like I said, Spanish men are irresistible. Wasn’t long before I got hooked and we would go at it for _hours_ almost every day.”

 

“Nice.” Sehun grinned, nodding his head in approval.

 

“It was. To tell you the truth, I honestly thought he only wanted me for sex. But no, he really fell in love with me.” Baekhyun smiled softly, recalling those young, innocent years of his life that seemed so distant.

 

“How could he not?” Chanyeol gushed, causing Baekhyun to playfully roll his eyes and chuckle.

 

“I would even skip school just to go see him, his family had a summer house down south. He would pick me up on his motorcycle, with his leather jacket and everything. I was so in love with him.” He sighed wistfully.

 

“Translation: dude had a magical cock.” Sehun decoded for them, drawing yet another chuckle out of Baekhyun.

 

He wasn't wrong.

 

“But then came Yifan, right?” Chanyeol nudged him, the smile on Baekhyun’s face gradually fading.  

 

“No. He died in a motorcycle accident.” He told them in monotone. “He was 17.”

 

Nothing else was said the rest of the ride.

 

****

 

Shades of yellow and carmine began to paint the sky,  an indication for the trio to begin looking for somewhere to eat. Their task proved more difficult than normal considering their surroundings told them they had wandered into a much more rural area of the country, a herd of cows crowding the road.

 

The loud bellowing of the cattle stirred Chanyeol from his power nap, the boy jolting awake at the sight of a bull right outside his window.

 

Baekhyun looked over his shoulder and giggled to himself upon seeing Chanyeol so disgruntled. Disgruntled and hard.

 

“Morning.” He smiled, eyes glancing down at the boy’s crotch. “To both of you.”

 

Following the man’s gaze, Chanyeol looked down, quickly grabbed his sweatshirt and threw it over his lap.

 

“Shit.”

 

“Oh my god, did you seriously pop a boner?” The youngest burst into laughter, shaking his head. “He’s got a small dick anyway, don’t get too excited.”

 

“Aw, you have a small one?” Baekhyun cooed, Chanyeol’s face flushing the deepest shade of red.

 

“Shut the fuck up, Sehun. You’ve got like half an inch more on me, tops.”

 

“You’ve measured them?” Baekhyun cut in, raising an eyebrow.

 

“Yeah. You still have an ugly dick, man.” Sehun retorted.

 

“Ugly how?” The older man asked, inquisitive.

 

“It’s not circumcised. It looks like a sad, deflated balloon.”

 

“Yeah? Then why don’t you come blow it up for me, you fucker?” Chanyeol fired back with a smirk.

 

“Really, you’re uncircumcised? Ooh, yum.” Baekhyun hummed, turning to glance over at Chanyeol and wink at him.

 

“Right? See, Sehun. You’re just being a prick.”

 

“Whatever. It’s still ugly as shit.”

 

Despite the tangent the conversation had taken, Baekhyun was still very much intrigued about the boys; more specifically on what it was that they brought to the table. From what he’d gathered, besides Chanyeol having an unattractive penis, the two weren’t as experienced as they let off.

 

But, as Baekhyun had come to know, having slept with only a handful of people didn’t mean you were any less of a good lover. Throwing all discretion aside, Baekhyun continued his interrogation.

 

“How do you guys fuck your boyfriends? I want all the details.”

 

“Oh. You know, real good. Lot of passion, prowess. All that good stuff.” Chanyeol explained, not seeming too bothered to go into further detail, much to Baekhyun’s dismay.

 

“Okay, but what do you _do_ to them?” He pressed. For a pair of guys who couldn’t shut up even if their life depended it, they were definitely falling short when it was most needed.

 

“A little foreplay. Some nice, steamy kisses on their neck, down their chest.”

 

“And then?”

 

“And then we just kinda… stick it in.” Chanyeol ever so bluntly finished off, Baekhyun still unimpressed.

 

“What else?” In a vain effort, Baekhyun gave them a chance to redeem themselves, the pair failing him yet again.

 

“Keep sticking it in until we come.” The taller of the two shrugged.

 

“That’s it?”

 

“If we did anything else, we’d break them.” Sehun supplied with a cheeky smirk.

 

“Uh huh. Do they _cry_ out from pleasure? _Beg_ you not to stop?” Baekhyun asked them sarcastically, laughing at the boys´ answer.

 

“Duh.”

 

“I’m _so_ sure. And how do you fuck them? Missionary?” Vanilla positions for a pair of vanilla boys. It only made sense.

 

“Sure, missionary, doggy style, you name it. As a matter of fact, Luhan likes to sit on my face but he’s known to be a fan of riding me from time to time. Even 69ing.”

 

 _Now_ they were getting somewhere.

 

“For real?”

 

“Hell yeah, we’ve gone through Kama Sutra front and back like twice already.” Chanyeol boasted, Baekhyun quipping a skeptical eyebrow.

 

“Mmm, okay. Even the Passion Propeller?”

 

“What’s that?”

 

“When they spin around while they’re still inside you.” Baekhyun told him calmly, the shock forcing Sehun to unintentionally hit the break harder than necessary all the while failing to notice the huge pothole before them.

 

“Oh, shit!” He shrieked, jumping out of the car as soon as he felt the impact which surely couldn’t mean anything good. “We blew a tire. Fuck!”

 

Even in their small misfortune, they were lucky enough to be in a populated area, however rural it may be. A local had witnessed the accident and kindly offered to help them into the nearby mechanic (or better said, the _only_ mechanic) who told them it’d be at least a day before they could be back on the road since it seemed the old motor needed some fixing as well.

 

The two younger boys were busy negotiating the wait time while Baekhyun had wandered off on his own, fascinated by the small town and its strange charm.

 

He happened upon a small altar in the middle of town, guarded by an elderly woman who was pouring a cloudy white liquid into tiny cups, presenting them to the dozens of photo frames and stuffed animals on display.

 

Noticing she wasn’t alone, the woman peered over her shoulder and smiled at Baekhyun, offering him his own cup.

 

“Why, hello. Have some _sungnyung_ , dear.”

 

Graciously, the man took the delicate cup being offered to him and took a quiet sip, eyes scanning the arrangement of flowers and other worn trinkets adorning the modest altar.

 

An aura of sadness cocooned the space, filling Baekhyun with an unexplained sadness and empathy.

 

He glazed over all the portraits, many of them still young and lively.

 

Baekhyun wondered which photo of him would be used.

 

“Are all these people that passed away, ma’am?” He asked, a question he already knew the answer to.

 

The woman nodded, carefully stroking one frame in particular of a young woman with care and endearment.

 

Baekhyun let out a deep breath and glanced down to where all the small toys were, all of them labeled with a name, one of them— a tiny, brown teddy bear— calling out to him. He picked it up and showed it to the aging woman, smiling softly.

 

“We have the same name.”

 

Fondness lit up her beady eyes as she nodded.

 

“Ah, yes. Little Baekhyun. Wonderful little child he was. Left us so young.” She lamented. “Why don’t you keep it? His family moved away after he passed, I’m sure it’d be in much better hands with you.”

 

Before Baekhyun could object, the woman placed it in his hands and gathered her things, walking back to her home without a word to be said.

 

****

 

The boys found Baekhyun wandering the town square and notified him of their change of plans: they’d be spending the night while the car got repaired.

 

Baekhyun assured them it was not a problem, smiled, and let them go book a room in one of the two motels the town had to offer.

 

He was still shaken over his encounter with the kind woman, he’d followed her after she’d departed, still fascinated by everything about her.  They’d sat down in her rustic home for another cup of _sungnyung,_ the man engrossed with every word to come out of her mouth.

 

Yifan’s friends were all highly educated and brilliant, sometimes their immense knowledge in art, literature, and politics being too much for Baekhyun to keep up with. This woman however, possessed a wisdom no amount of prestigious university degrees could ever earn you.

 

While Yifan and his friends had been busy studying and writing away, this woman had been living; falling in love, starting a family, losing her family;  living life the way it was meant to be lived.

 

Very politely did she excuse herself when she noticed it was nearing supper time, that her husband was most likely on his way home from work.

 

Not wanting to be a bother, he let the woman carry on and saw himself out, taking the miniature stuffed toy with him.

 

As he walked across the tiny town square, his decisions began to catch up and weigh down on him, reality a cold gust of wind during an Indian summer.

 

He’d been reckless in choosing to leave on a whim and hit the road with a pair of college boys to a beach he wasn’t even sure was real. He’d left behind his only family without a trace and no matter how much bitterness he’d been harboring, even he knew it wasn’t fair to Yifan.  

 

People need closure in order to move on; he’d learned that the hard way.  

 

Fortunately, the town had a public telephone in a private cabin, Baekhyun appreciating both the fact that Yifan had no way of reaching him after, and that he had the comfort of four walls to shield him from the eyes of everyone else.

 

Dialing the number ingrained into his memory, he took a deep breath and swallowed multiple times, none of them sufficient enough to gulp down the current tremble and fear in his voice.

 

Relief came upon remembering that today was Wednesday, meaning Yifan wouldn’t be back until tomorrow.

 

The machine went to voicemail.

 

“Hello, Yifan. I just wanted to call because I never left a note. So here it is. I don’t want you to worry about me. Don’t come looking for me. I’m okay, I promise. I know wanting to disappear out of the blue was a bit over the top, but maybe-” He stopped short, blinking away stray tears and sniffling.

 

Recollections of their relationship came back to haunt him, every happy memory finally deconstructed and unveiling the bitter truth behind the facade they’d been keeping for so long.

Beneath every excuse to not attend a party, was the remembrance of the first he’d attended and overheard Yifan’s friends wondering what he ever saw in Baekhyun, never considering him more than a trophy husband and Yifan not once coming to his defense.

 

Even their wedding day, on the surface an enchanting and heartwarming memory, was now tainted by every secretive murmur amongst the guests (all of them from Yifan’s family) exposing their idea of Baekhyun as a gold digger he’d had the misfortune of overhearing during the reception but had worked so hard to suppress in fear of upsetting Yifan.

 

Countless occasions like these were deciphered, all of them a rude awakening to the fantasy he’d fooled himself into believing all this time.  And that was when it finally sunk in.

 

“But maybe I never belonged in your world in the first place, Yifan.”

 

Wiping away tears with the back of his sleeve, he continued.

 

“I met a woman today. She’s almost 100 years old but still remembers everything since she was five. Can you imagine? All that she’s lived? It made me wonder... all that a person can _stop_ living.”

 

He held back another sob, composed himself and was determined to finish his call. No one ever told him saying goodbye would be this hard.

 

“The rent’s due in a couple days, so is the electricity bill. I left it on the table for you. Pay it beforehand, they charge an extra fee to put but back on after it cuts off. I also found that shirt you were looking for before we moved, it was in that old bag under the bed. I ironed it for you, should be hanging in the closet. Take care of yourself, okay? I… I love you, Yifan. I’m sorry I couldn’t ever be what you wanted.”

 

Hanging up the phone, he left the booth stone faced, his front lowered as soon as he reached the motel room the boys had booked for him.

 

He sat on the edge of the bed, stared at the wall in front of him and processed exactly what he’d just done.

 

There was no turning back.

 

He was gone.

 

Yifan was out of his life.

 

His last love and biggest disappointment.

 

Gone.

 

The only person he had left.

 

Gone.

 

With his head in his hands, Baekhyun did all there was left for him to: cry.

 

Cry for himself.

 

Cry for little Baekhyun and all the others who had left this Earth too soon.

 

_Cry, cry, cry._

 

****

 

Driving non-stop was known to wear a guy out. Sehun could testify to this.

 

In a way, the car breaking down was a blessing in disguise. Otherwise, he’d still be behind the wheel probably driving in circles and acting like he and Chanyeol actually knew where they were going.

 

Their accident had been the perfect alibi to unwind, grab a bite to eat, and possibly come across someone who would be more useful than their stupid tourist map had been the entire trip.

 

It was also the perfect chance to get a nice shower; the scorching heat of the countryside and their profuse perspiration proving to be a very nasty combination they were sure Baekhyun wouldn’t be too fond of.

 

“Hey, Yeol. Mind getting some shampoo?” Sehun called out to his friend in the shower stall next to him.

 

Groaning, Chanyeol agreed and grabbed the motel’s towel, wrapped it loosely around his hips and walked out of the bathroom hoping their companion was back and hopefully smart enough to have packed some shampoo.

 

“Hey, Baekhyun. Do you-” With all the nonchalance in the world, he’d strolled into the neighboring  room, a strong sensation of deja vu coming over him upon noticing Baekhyun hunched over and crying into his hands. “Fuck, sorry. I’ll leave.” He stopped short and backtracked into the hallway, Baekhyun sitting up straight and leaving no trace of his momentary breakdown.

 

“No, no. Come in, please.” He insisted.

 

Trekking cautiously back into the room, Chanyeol hesitated before speaking, careful about addressing the elephant in the room.

 

“Are you okay?”

 

Chanyeol had to give credit where it was due. Baekhyun was a phenomenal actor, pretending as if the boy hadn’t just seen him dry off his tears.

 

“Yes, absolutely. It must be… the heat and the long trip taking its toll on me. Don’t worry about it. What’s up?” He feigned a smile so painfully false it had Chanyeol unnerved. He figured Baekhyun didn’t want to talk about it and he was willing to respect that.

 

“We were just wondering if maybe you had some shampoo on you. You got any?”

 

Baekhyun sat there with a vacant expression that had Chanyeol even more unsettled. He rocked back on the balls of his feet waiting for an answer that never came.

 

Instead, all the older man did was look him up and down like a lion stalking his prey, starting from his head, down to his feet, then back up to look him dead in the eye.

 

“Take off your towel.”

 

“What?”

 

Without any change in expression, Baekhyun repeated himself.

 

“Take off your towel.”

 

“My t-towel?” Chanyeol stuttered, perplexed. One minute Baekhyun was crying, the next he was asking him to strip.

 

“That’s what I said, didn’t I?” The man smiled softly, finally realizing his direct approach wasn’t getting him anywhere. “Take it off, Chanyeol. Don’t be shy.”

 

As if he no longer had any control over his own body, Chanyeol let the towel fall to his feet, covering his groin with a hand and stood there awkwardly as Baekhyun raked his eyes over him again and positioned himself more comfortably on the bed.

 

“No, don’t cover yourself up. Move your hand.” Obediently, Chanyeol did just that, letting his arms fall awkwardly to his sides, unsure of what to do with them.

 

The action was met with a small, barely audible gasp from Baekhyun. Sehun had a poor sense of judgement. Sure, Chanyeol wasn’t huge by any means but it definitely wasn’t “ugly” as Sehun had described it.

 

Baekhyun wet his lips and gave a tiny, breathless laugh as he watched the boy’s length go hard right before his eyes, Chanyeol shifting his feet and visibly flustered with the situation at hand.

 

“Oh, wow. You get turned on easily, don’t you? It..um.. A lefty are we?”

 

“Huh?”

 

“It moves to the left. Earlier you said it was the opposite.” Baekhyun signaled to the boy’s shaft that was indeed, curved to the left.

 

“Oh.” Barely glancing down, Chanyeol gave a bout of nervous laughter.  “Guess so.”

 

“That’s how I pictured it, you know.” Baekhyun told him, voice husky and much darker than his normal bright tone, hooded eyes coming up to lock with Chanyeol’s.

 

At first, the boy only laughed again, not able to think straight with all the blood flowing to his dick. But when Baekhyun gave him _that_ look, a look that made him replay what he’d just been told again, he gulped.

 

“You… thought about my dick?”

 

Chanyeol’s realization pleased Baekhyun, for he nodded and gave the boy half a smirk as he sat back further on the mattress, legs spread open the tiniest of fraction apart.

 

“Mhm. Why don’t you jerk off for me a bit?”

 

Chanyeol’s world felt like it was imploding.

 

“Excuse me?”

 

“Yeah. Jerk off.”

 

Finally, reality sunk back in and Chanyeol regained consciousness of where they were and most importantly,  who they were with.

 

“Here? I don’t think I should, Sehun’s in the other room-” He stalled, constantly looking over his shoulder in a paranoid manner, his hands becoming clammy.

 

“Want me to help?” Baekhyun offered coyly and began to unbutton his own jeans as inducement. “I can show you my ass if you want...”

 

All air left Chanyeol’s lungs, the little amount of oxygen left in his brain barely being enough to answer.

 

“Y-yes, please.”

 

“I will if you touch yourself. Can you do that for me, baby?”

 

Right away, Chanyeol’s hand moved to grasp at his cock and began giving it long, slow strokes while he watched Baekhyun keep his word and slip his pants off one leg at a time until he was left in a basic pair of white briefs that clung to his shapely hips in ways many would consider sinful.

 

Chanyeol’s breathing grew labored the more he watched Baekhyun tease him with flashes of milky skin, his speed increasing and the crown becoming red and swollen, yearning for slick, hot pressure.

 

“Such a good boy.” The older man praised him, eyes never straying from the way Chanyeol’s hand was moving, twisting and squeezing his cock. “Come here, Chanyeol. Get closer.”

 

He walked over without saying a word, still breathless from the mere fact that this was even happening. Standing tall before Baekhyun, he looked down and swallowed.

 

Underneath him was Baekhyun face to face with his cock, batting his pretty eyelashes at him and licking his lips like Chanyeol was a Thanksgiving meal.

 

Without any prior warning, he wrapped his lips around the boy’s girth, taking him in little by little. He placed a hand on the back of the boy’s thigh for leverage, the other on his cock, guiding it in and out of his mouth.

 

Every bone in Chanyeol’s body went liquid, his mouth hanging open in shock and arousal. He dared to look down once again and almost came on the spot at the sight of Baekhyun’s pink, glossy mouth taking him in like a champ.

 

“Oh my fucking God, yes.” Chanyeol sighed, Baekhyun coming off with a slick pop, sounding  just as winded as the boy.

 

“I’m so hard, Chanyeol. Wanna feel me?” He mewled, beckoning Chanyeol down to his knees, the younger leaving hasty and messy kisses all along Baekhyun’s smooth chest.

 

“Yes, yes, yes.” Chanyeol rasped out, desperately trying to cover every inch of Baekhyun’s skin with his lips.

 

“Touch me, baby. Feel what you do to me, go on.” In a brash move, Chanyeol grabbed the back of Baekhyun’s legs and threw them over his shoulders. He grabbed hold of the man’s cock, unapologetically jerking them both off while Baekhyun threw his head back in sheer pleasure, his hand rummaging through his hair. “Fuck. Blow me, Chanyeol. I’m begging.”

 

Baekhyun lifted his torso off the bed just enough for the younger to be able to take off his briefs which he quickly threw over his shoulder, thankful for no more barriers between his mouth and Baekhyun’s beautiful cock.

 

This was strange territory for Chanyeol. He was more used to being on the receiving end of oral than the giving but there was no way he was going to refuse Baekhyun’s petitions, not now, not ever.

 

With that being said, the boy had little grace in his technique and was still lacking in the art of blow jobs. Baekhyun tried his hardest to find pleasure in it, but Chanyeol was far too sloppy for his liking, his teeth getting in the way at times. Whoever said all head was good head was a fucking liar.

 

Nonetheless, Baekhyun was still extremely turned on and craving for a feel of the boy inside him. He grabbed Chanyeol by the shoulders, motioning for him to get up.

 

“Forget it. Come here, sweetheart.” He panted, Chanyeol wasting no time in slicking up his cock with his own spit, fingering Baekhyun’s taut hole the loosest he could get it, and slowly entered him, Baekhyun’s legs high in the air on either side of him before they wrapped tightly around the boy’s torso.

 

The bed was tiny and narrow, even more so horizontally. Half of their bodies dangled off the edge, their positions were strange and nothing conventional but both were determined to make it work.

 

It’d been what felt like ages since Baekhyun had felt this good, or anything at all. He loved the raw, untamed manner in which Chanyeol was fucking him, brought back memories of his reckless youth when everything felt so insignificant. He moaned shamelessly, jostling around in ecstasy while Chanyeol continued pounding into him at a heedles pace, face buried in the man’s nape.

 

“Yes, baby. Fuck me, fuck me.” He begged, the pressure in his abdomen heightening and building up.

 

“Oh, fuck. _Fuck_.” Chanyeol panted, his momentum dying down as he came inside Baekhyun with a guttural grunt deep in his throat.

 

The man underneath him lay there in what could only be bewilderment, both over the fact that he’d just had sex with his husband’s cousin and second, that it had lasted close to nothing.

 

Toppling over him, Chanyeol let his body rest languidly, breathing heavily into Baekhyun’s ear and noticing the blank, bored expression on his face.

 

“Sorry. You caught me off guard.” He tried, sheepish in his apology.

 

Baekhyun, who regained his composure, only shook his head and ruffled the boy’s damp hair, letting him rest on top of him as the high wore down with a soft “don’t worry about it”, his eyes fluttering closed, the two of them completely oblivious to Sehun standing in the doorway, paralyzed and bitter.

 

****

 

Being sidetracked by Baekhyun hadn’t been enough to divert away from his original motives for coming into the room in the first place.

 

A tiny travel sized bottle of shampoo had been acquired thanks to Baekhyun, Chanyeol ready to take it back to his friend in their own room.

 

The same friend who had miraculously vanished into thin air.  

 

Walking outside of the suite and onto the balcony of their floor, Chanyeol spotted the boy with his feet dipped in the pool covered in a thick veil of leaves. Grinning, he strode down the stairs and joined his friend as he sat down besides him.

 

“Hey, dude. You find some shampoo?”

 

“Hmm? Oh. Right. Yeah man, thanks.” Sehun said, rather distracted and lost in thought.

 

Chanyeol jutted his jaw towards the other end of the pool with a haughty smirk and elbowed the blonde boy in the ribs.

 

“What do you say we go for a quick dip? I’ll race you.”

 

“We just showered, Yeol. Besides the pool’s all dirty.”

 

“Another shower won’t kill us. And we can clean this bad boy up in a jiffy. Give me a second.”

 

The taller boy stood up and picked up the skimmer carelessly lying besides the pool, half buried in a pile of leaves. Five decent swipes later, he’d managed to scoop up a decent amount of foliage out of the water and showed Sehun he no longer had any excuse not to join him in a friendly race.

 

Heaving a sigh, Sehun stood up and dived in with his friend, both touching the other end of the pool and swimming back to their starting point. Halfway through, Chanyeol feigned a cramp, knowing from experience his friend was a major sore loser.

 

He didn’t think he’d be a sore winner as well.

 

Popping out of the water, Sehun snapped at him, a rare scowl marring his handsome face.

 

“You let me win, you bastard.” He spit out. “You shouldn’t have.”

 

“What are you talking about? It was a stupid race. No harm done.” Chanyeol chuckled, floating on his back. When he realized Sehun wasn’t joking, the smile waned, tension building between them.

 

Sehun avoided all eye contact with him, his back to the boy and his gaze fixed on the concrete and tile in front of him.

 

“I fucked Luhan.”

 

Silence.

 

“What.” Chanyeol said rather than questioned.

 

“You heard me.” He turned around, lifting his arms to rest them on the edge of the pool. “I fucked your boyfriend.”

 

Chanyeol waited for Sehun to break into laughter, for a crew of cameramen to pop out and tell him this was all a joke, _anything_.

 

That moment, however, never came.

 

The older boy got out of the water and stormed out of the pool area, yanking his towel off the ground where he’d left it.

 

****

 

Chanyeol had experienced betrayal only once before.

 

It was when he’d caught his mother in bed with his 7th grade math teacher.

 

Back then, he hadn’t said anything either. His father to his day had no idea and strangely enough, math had been the only class he’d passed with flying colors that semester. Not to mention, his mother had bought him a new Playstation without him even having to ask for it.

 

Blame it on the ingenuity that came with his age, but it had felt like the biggest let down of his life until now. Sehun, the boy he’d known for years—who he’d shared half his life with— had gone behind his back.

 

All silly codes aside, Sehun’s confession was a wake up call to Chanyeol that perhaps somewhere along the road, their friendship stopped meaning as much as they thought and maybe, just maybe, that was what hurt even more.

 

****

 

Dinner was awkward to say the least.

 

Having already gotten used to the endless banter between the two boys, Baekhyun found it strange that tonight they were dead silent.

 

No crude jokes being tossed around, no playful jabs, no shameless innuendos.

 

Only tension and the burdensome weight of guilt.

 

The three of them marched upstairs to their rooms soon after eating, Baekhyun breaking the silence as he bid the boys goodbye for the night.

 

“Good night, boys.”

 

Sehun mumbled out a half hearted good night as well before stepping into the room while Chanyeol bashfully looked over at the man with a weak smile.

 

“Night, Chanyeol.” Baekhyun waved with delicate fingers, disappearing into the darkness of his suite.

 

It was with a heavy sigh and an even heavier heart that Chanyeol entered his shared room with Sehun, the latter already in bed with his headphones in, fingers scrolling past his MP3 player.

 

He spared Chanyeol a glance and scoffed.

 

“What, aren’t you going to go sleep with Baekhyun?” He reproached, still bitter about what he’d witnessed only hours prior.

 

“Fuck off, would you?” Chanyeol chided, getting into his own bed and turning off the dim lamp on the nightstand in between them.

 

To say he and Sehun had never argued was a lie.

 

They’d been friends for years now, it was only natural for them to come across situations where they simply did not agree with each other.

 

Every time a quarrel occurred, Chanyeol would sleep it off, show up at Sehun’s house the next day with some video games and that was that.

 

But something was off about this occasion; both knew it would take a lot more than some car racing to move past this. For now though, Chanyeol needed answers and he needed them now.

 

Sitting up, he turned the lamp back on and faced his traitor of a friend.

 

“How many times did you guys fuck?”

 

The younger boy looked up and took off his headphones, setting his MP3 player besides him.

He knew this moment would come eventually. It just would have been nice to be prepared for it, is all.

 

Sighing, he spoke.

 

“Just once, man. I was trashed. It didn’t mean anything.”

 

“When did it happen?”

 

“I don’t know.”

 

“How do you not know?” Chanyeol barked, Sehun wincing and lowering his eyes.

 

“It was when you went to Singapore.” He confessed.

 

“Where the fuck was Jongin?”

 

“He was sick.”

 

“Where’d you guys do it?”

 

“Shit, I don’t remember.” The younger boy whined, already tired of his friend’s persistence on getting every single detail out of him.

 

Chanyeol however, wouldn’t quit badgering until he got the full truth and nothing short of it.

 

“Was it at his house?”

 

“No, it was at some party.”

 

“Whose party?”

 

“Shit, Chanyeol! I don’t fucking know, okay? I told you, I was stoned and wasted. It was actually kind of funny, he-” Sehun recalled, a tepid version of a smile beginning to play on his lips.

 

“No, it’s not fucking funny, Oh Sehun! Who started it?” Chanyeol snapped, having no tolerance for Sehun’s stupid anecdotes.

 

“Both of us, we were both drunk!” The blonde exclaimed, putting his hands up in defense.

 

“Where in the house did you do it?”

 

“It was probably some little kids room, I just remember dolls everywhere.”

 

“What was he wearing?”

 

“Are you fucking serious?” Deadpanning his friend, Sehun shook his head in disbelief. “How the fuck am I supposed to remember?”

 

“Just answer the damn question! Was it those black jeans? Or the navy ones?” Chanyeol fired off, “What underwear was he wearing?”

 

“You’re mental, man.”

 

Frankly, Sehun had had enough of this. Chanyeol was being paranoid, not to mention a fucking creep. He was too tired for this.

 

“He sucked you off, didn’t he, you bastard?”

 

“Dude, no.”

 

“Look me in the eyes and say it, prick!” Chanyeol nearly snarled as he got on eye level with the boy, grabbing him by the front of his tee. “Did he give you head?”

 

“No!”

 

“Did you give _him_ head?”

 

“What the fuck, Chanyeol? No.” Sehun told him for the nth time.

 

“Did he come?”

 

“I can’t remember. It all happened in a blur, I don’t even know if _I_ came or not.”

 

Retracting, Chanyeol once again sat on the edge of his bed with his arms folded across his chest, eyes piercing into Sehun.

 

“Did he like it?”

 

Now Chanyeol was just being outright delusional.

 

“How the fuck would I know that?”

 

“What about you? Did _you_ like it, you sick pervert?” Grabbing his pillow, Chanyeol lunged it at the other, barely missing his head.

 

“No! I felt like shit about it afterwards, dude.” Sehun confided. “I wanted to tell you earlier but-”

 

“Go to hell, you son of a bitch! You fucked up our friendship! You fucked up our trust! You fucked me over! You fucked my _boyfriend_!” Heaving, Chanyeol ran a hand through his hair, recalling how both had shamelessly welcomed him with open arms at the airport with big, phony smiles on their face. “And I still brought you back those stupid comics and that goddamn videogame for that piece of shit Luhan! Fuck me!”

 

Chanyeol began to pace frantically in the limited space of their room, cursing himself, Sehun, Luhan, anyone he deemed guilty by association into oblivion.

 

Sehun’s immature complot of retaliation had backfired. What was supposed to be a match to fire had become an explosion, dangerous and uncontrollable and Sehun knew he’d never come to regret anything more in his lifetime than this.

 

“Hey, hey. I’m really sorry, dude.” He offered, wishing to take it back as soon as Chanyeol approached his bed, his presence looming over him like a shadow.

 

“Shove that apology up your ass, Sehun. It means shit to me anyway.”

 

“It was an accident.” The younger boy muttered, bracing himself for Chanyeol’s wrath.

 

“An accident?” He scoffed sardonically; the calm before the storm. “You step on a guy’s foot by accident, you don’t fuck them, Sehun! You just don’t!” He went off, Sehun cowering back like a small, helpless animal.

 

Needless to say, neither got any sleep that night.

 

****

 

Baekhyun expected whatever had gone down last night between his two companions to have already been settled by now.

 

It was one of the many perks of being men; there was never any need for unexplained cold shoulders, silent treatments, or unnecessary drama following a fight.

 

Unfortunately, it looked like their very loud discussion last night had gotten them nowhere and now Baekhyun would have to pay the consequences as well.

 

Both refused to look the other in the eye, much less direct any form of conversation towards each other.

 

Today it was Chanyeol’s turn to drive which meant Sehun got the entire backseat to himself to sulk and look outside the open window at their surroundings.

 

The tension was thick and Baekhyun was about to crack under the uneasiness of it. He looked at Sehun through the mirror and observed the boy pout away.

 

“Hey, kid. The heat get to you, too?”

 

Sehun could only scoff.

 

“Yeah. The heat.” He answered in a dry manner, Baekhyun feeling a sense of responsibility as he stole a glance at the two boys, both tense and trying much too hard to be passive-aggressive with each other, Chanyeol flinging his arm around Baekhyun’s seat as if to boast his victory.

 

_So that’s what this is about, huh?_

 

Admittedly, Baekhyun’s process of dealing with grief hadn’t been the wisest nor the most rational.

 

But his moments on this Earth were limited and depleting every passing second. He refused to let sadness take up any of that time and Chanyeol had very willingly helped take some of that numbness away.

 

Had he known the repercussions of his actions, the thought wouldn’t have even come to mind.

 

But what’s done is done; all Baekhyun could do at this point was try to make amends and restore the same equilibrium he helped destabilize.

 

Undoing his seatbelt, the man began to climb over the passenger seat, Chanyeol constantly looking over his shoulder with worry.

 

“What are you- you’re up here with me, Baekhyun.” He stated, sounding authoritative.

 

“I just want to get to know little Sehun a bit better.”

 

“But- we-” The boy protested, appearing genuinely hurt by the ordeal.

 

This again was further proof that Baekhyun clearly hadn’t contemplated all the consequences his actions entailed. Chanyeol was very mistaken if he considered a one time hookup as more than what it actually was: Baekhyun feeling lonely and filling that void with sex.

 

Taking into account the fact that both he and Sehun were quite liberal in their definition of a monogamous relationship, Baekhyun didn’t think he would take it seriously.

 

Guess not.

 

“Listen, Chanyeol. If that’d been Sehun who walked in instead of you, the same thing would have happened. Relax and keep driving.” Baekhyun spoke over his shoulder, limbs ungraciously getting over the front seats, Sehun startled and mystified by the fact Baekhyun was attempting to straddle his lap.  

 

Dignified, Chanyeol slowed down the vehicle, his eyes never leaving the two getting cozy in the back. As if finding out your best friend had slept with your boyfriend behind your back hadn’t been brutal enough, watching him about to get it on with the man you were currently infatuated with was the cherry on top.

 

There was only so much Chanyeol was willing to deal with and this was crossing the line.

 

“Then fuck you guys if you think I’m gonna be driving you around like some fucking idiot. Fuck that.” The tall boy ranted, recklessly pulling over to a barren side of the road, getting out and slamming the door behind him.  

 

“Chanyeol-” Sehun called after him, his friend already halfway across the road to wait for them on a large boulder, arms crossed and a permanent scowl on his otherwise soft and boyish features.

 

The urge to chase after his friend was eased by Baekhyun cradling the sides of his face, drawing his attention back to him.

 

“Don’t worry about Chanyeol. Come here.”

 

“But he’s-”

 

Baekhyun shushed him with a firm press of lips, Baekhyun’s mouth serving as some sort of anesthetic as each kiss numbed him from his inner turmoil, any thoughts or worry about Chanyeol gradually melting away with every heated touch of Baekhyun’s hands trailing down his chest, then his abdomen until reaching his crotch and undoing the zipper, hand slipping past the waistband of his boxers.

 

Driven by lust, Sehun frantically went for the hem of Baekhyun’s shirt and yanked it over the man’s head, wasting no time in worshipping the exposed skin as soon as he had the chance, mouth tenderly sucking and toying with Baekhyun’s nipples.

 

With a dreamy sigh, Baekhyun threw his head back against the headrest of the passenger seat, allowing the younger boy to undress him as best he could in the limited amount of space they had.

 

His pants were down to his calves when Sehun began to struggle, his arousal at war with his logic.

 

“The shoes, Sehun. Take off my shoes.” Baekhyun panted as the other obeyed silently, successfully taking both of them off and flinging them to the side as Baekhyun had preoccupied himself with removing his jeans.

 

“Mm, give it to me, baby.” The man moaned, throwing his arms around the other’s neck while Sehun attempted to line his cock up to Baekhyun’s entrance. His hasty and pitiful endeavour was salvaged by an impatient Baekhyun who took matters into his own hands-literally-. “Wait, let me. Stay still.”

 

Compliant and eager to please, Sehun let his hands fall to the side as Baekhyun accommodated himself around his cock, sinking down on it gradually until it was buried in him to the hilt.

 

Both let out a simultaneous sigh of relief, Sehun’s hands leaving their idle position as they settled on the curve of Baekhyun’s hips, mouth agape as he summerged himself into a world of warmth and sheer pleasure.

 

Staggered gasps and moans from Baekhyun lingered in between them, Sehun too stunned and too far in his own trance to do anything other than hold on to the older man as he fucked himself on Sehun’s cock.

 

Only until he experienced an all too familiar buildup did he finally react, his body spasming and leaning into Baekhyun.

 

“Oh, God. Hold on, I’m-” That sentence went unfinished for Sehun’s climax beat him to it, an immediate apology following soon after.

 

Baekhyun could only sigh and stay perched on Sehun’s lap as the boy continued to bashfully apologize for his less than impressive performance.

 

“It’s fine. It’s fine.” He lulled, allowing the younger boy to rest his head on his shoulder as he collected himself, mimicking his same actions with Chanyeol from yesterday by carding his fingers through the other’s hair, both of them breathing softly.

 

Out of the corner of his eye, the older man caught sight of Chanyeol trying his hardest not to look bothered from the other side of the road. Baekhyun inwardly laughed to himself, finding it endearing how Chanyeol looked away in embarrassment once he realized just how overt his jealousy was.

 

He broke apart from Sehun with a gentle kiss to his cheek, then grabbed his clothing and slipped it back on before getting out of the car and walking over to the sulking Chanyeol who pretended to be draw figures in the dirt with a twig he’d picked up in order to avoid making eye contact with the man before him.

 

“Chanyeol, don’t be like that. It’s all in good fun. Isn’t that why you invited me in the first place? To shag me?” The boy gave him the cold shoulder, shifting his body away and refusing to so much as look at him.

 

Exasperated, Baekhyun sat down next to him and placed a hand on the other’s knee, forcing himself into the boy’s line of vision.

 

“I should have never slept with either of you. That was my mistake. It only made things worse.”

 

“Then why did you?” Chanyeol lashed out, subtle undertones of resentment lingering in his voice.

 

“It’s- complicated.” Complicated was an understatement, but the last thing Baekhyun wanted was to put a downer on rest of the trip. Things were already falling apart, no part of him desired to add to the madness. “How about we move past this, yeah? Go back to being road trip buddies, the three Space Cowboys? What do you say?” He grinned, wiggling his eyebrows as if he were making an offer Chanyeol couldn’t refuse. And frankly, with a smile like his, it would be impossible to.

 

Successfully keeping his resolve intact, Chanyeol shrugged.

 

“Yeah, whatever.” He bluffed, both of them knowing all too well he wouldn’t be able to keep his act up.

 

Satisfied, Baekhyun hopped off the rock and wiped the back of his thighs before holding out a hand to the younger boy.

 

“Come on, then. Let’s get moving. I’d like to see the beach before I die, if you don’t mind.”

 

****

 

When it finally appeared that peace had been restored; Sehun still relishing in the afterglow as he drove and Chanyeol seemingly put at ease, it was in that moment that Baekhyun learned good things seldom lasted.

 

All it took were three little words from Chanyeol for all hell to break loose yet again.

 

“I did, too.” He announced, firm and determined.

 

Baekhyun stiffened, perceiving nothing good was about to come out of this. He shrunk back into his seat, mentally preparing for whatever was about to go down.

 

“You what?” Sehun asked nonchalant, not taking his friend’s comment to heart.

 

“I fucked your boyfriend, too, you giant sack of shit.” Chanyeol told him, his voice on the verge of a growl.

 

The car became engulfed in silence, the music on the stereo nothing but white noise. At first, one would think Chanyeol’s declaration had gone by unheard from the lack of response. But Chanyeol knew better. He was just waiting to Sehun to take the bait before striking.

 

“That’s not true.” Sehun said finally. He was sure Chanyeol was just pulling his leg on this one.

 

For as long as he’d known him, his friend had always sported a competitive streak and never backed down without having the last laugh. This had to be one of those cases; Chanyeol was just bluffing, hoping to provoke him.

 

Sehun would be a fool to let that happen. Nonetheless, he couldn’t help but fall victim to the doubt and insecurity weighing down on him, a tiny devil on his shoulder convincing him to walk right into his friend’s trap.

 

“When?” Both looked at each other through the rear view window, a smug smirk coming up to pull at the corners of Chanyeol’s lips.

 

He’d caught him.

 

Hook, line and sinker.

 

“After the Muse concert.”

 

The change in Sehun’s demeanor was abrupt, going from calm and collected to near hysterical.

 

“Fucking hell. Is that why you dropped me off home first, huh, you punk?”

 

“Bingo.” Chanyeol replied with a proud pop of his lips.

 

“Where was it?”

 

“My house.”

 

“Your house?”

 

“In my room. He was wearing those nice, little black briefs.” The taller boy paraded, getting a kick out of seeing Sehun clutching the wheel with white knuckles, jaw tight and jutted.

 

Bastard deserved it.

 

“You slept with his boyfriend?” Breaking out of his role of a mere spectator, Baekhyun whipped around, incredulous that Chanyeol would stoop so low and still have the nerve to be a petty as he’d been earlier.

 

“He’s not the victim here! He fucked Luhan, too!” Chanyeol argued, Baekhyun both shocked and disappointed.

 

“Doesn’t that break your guys’ code? Rule Number Four?”

 

“Rule Number Four?”

 

“Yeah, one shall not sleep with another’s boyfriend?”

 

“That’s Number Five!” They yelled in unison, Sehun, for the second time today, pulling their car over. Only this time he wasn’t as thoughtful as Chanyeol and stopped dead in the middle of the road, inconsiderate to any other cars behind them. Now was not the time for road etiquette.

 

“Get out of the car. Get out of the fucking car, you fucking hypocrite! I’m gonna bash your fucking head in!” The younger boy fumed, banging on the flimsy glass of the window with a face of pure rage; lips narrow, eyebrows pulled together, and nostrils flaring.

 

“Fuck you, douchebag!” Chanyeol retorted, locking himself in the car Sehun was so desperately trying to break into.

 

“Boys, please! This is not the way to handle it!” Baekhyun pleaded, anxiety beginning to crawl into him, the lurkings of a migraine making themselves present. The small confines of the car weren’t much help either, the hostile environment beginning to to suffocate him until he had no other choice but to exit the vehicle and watch on in horror as the other two continued to bicker.

 

“I said get out of the damn car, Chanyeol!” Sehun bellowed, Chanyeol holding his two middle fingers high up to the window.

 

“Go right to hell!”

 

“Motherfucker!” Hocking up a loogie, Sehun spit at the window, hitting exactly where Chanyeol’s left eye was had it not been shielded by glass.

 

Chanyeol pulled a face of disgust and sneered.

 

“Real classy, Oh. Real fucking classy! The lowlife in you is finally starting to come out, isn’t it?”

 

“Yeah? Well, sorry for not growing up with a silver spoon in my mouth, you spoiled fucking brat! Fuck you! This ‘lowlife’ is about to beat the shit out of you!” He yelled, lunging at at the window again, the veins in his neck on the verge of bursting.

 

“Sehun, please calm down!” The eldest tried to grab Sehun and calm him, only to be rejected and harshly shoved away by the boy too blinded by fury to realize what he’d done.

 

“Stay the hell out of this, Baekhyun!”

 

Tumbling back, the man’s worry mutated into indignation and the powerless he’d felt watching everything around him crumble apart only fueled the boiling storm inside him.

 

This trip was resulting to be nothing like he expected and he was quickly coming to regret ever deciding to tag along in the first place.

 

It wasn’t his fault neither of the two could learn to keep their dicks on their pants or that their boyfriends were unfaithful little fuckers just like them. He shouldn’t be paying the price for it, much less get shoved around when all he was trying to do was help.

 

To hell with this. To hell with _everything_.

 

“You know what? Just because you two have small dicks doesn’t mean you get to act like huge ones to compensate!” Baekhyun exploded, storming to the trunk of the car and took out his only suitcase before slamming the door shut again. “Fuck both of you! You’re both selfish, idiotic jerks! Fuck your stupid code, fuck your stupid honor, neither of you have any! You two are just like every other man, you promise nothing but lies!”

 

With rage boiling inside of him, Baekhyun charged over to the passenger seat and yanked his bag out of the car, hauling it over his shoulder all the while continuing his rant as the boys looked on in bewilderment.

 

“I don’t know why you’re so damn mad at each other for sleeping with each other’s boyfriends, you two would probably fuck each other if given the chance, wouldn’t you? And also, what fucking difference does it make who fucked who, neither of you last more than two minutes, anyway! I’m out of here!”

 

True to his word, he began walking away, staying on the side of the road as he marched on, still cursing to the open wind.

 

“I didn’t come here to babysit a bunch of fucking children. But I should have known better. You play with kids, you end up changing diapers.”

 

Astounded, and finally quiet for once, the boys watched Baekhyun shrink as he went off into the distance, his suitcase lugging behind him.

“Good going, moron.” Sehun scolded, Chanyeol crossing his arms and scoffing.

 

“Now we’re even.”

 

“Even? Look what you did!” The blond boy screeched, pointing at Baekhyun.

 

“ _Me_? You’re the one that pushed him, jerk!”

 

“Just- how could you fuck Jongin, man? That whore!” Sehun vented, kicking the tire of the car and turning to Chanyeol furiously. “Get out and on your knees. I’m going to make you beg for forgiveness just like you did to me.”

 

“I’m sorry, alright?” He apologized from inside the car. Sehun wasn't having it.

 

“No, no. I humiliated myself, now it’s your turn.” He said, referencing to last night when Chanyeol agreed to let him sleep only if he begged for his forgiveness, an ordeal that took a good 40 minutes and a huge hit to Sehun’s ego. “Out. On your knees. Now.”

 

“Quit fucking around, Sehun! He’s gonna hitchhike back, we can't let him.” Chanyeol tried to both reason and stall his pending humiliation without much luck on either.

 

“I know that. But fucking apologize first. On your knees.”

 

Begrudgingly, Chanyeol opened the door and stepped out, half heartedly getting on one knee, Sehun standing above him with his arms folded across his chest.

 

“I’m sorry. There.” He said blandly, eyes on the gritty road beneath him.

 

Sehun shook his head.

 

“Both knees.”

 

Without much of a choice, Chanyeol sighed and lowered himself on both knees, looking up at Sehun with no emotion.

 

“I’m fucking sorry. You happy?”

 

“Sorry for _what_?”

 

The look Sehun was giving him suggested that Chanyeol should have known that what Sehun wanted wasn’t just an apology for sleeping with his boyfriend.

 

Beyond that, Sehun wanted an apology for all the times Chanyeol had unknowingly made him feel inferior, like a social climber or a freeloader. He wanted someone to apologize for all the nasty rumors he heard about about their friendship growing up; someone to take the blame for him feeling like he was more Chanyeol's charity case than he ever was his best friend.

 

The glint of remorse that flickered in Chanyeol’s eyes represented a beacon of hope; hope that this could be a turning point for them and move past their differences; hope that disappeared just as quickly as it’d come.

 

“I’m sorry for having sex with Jongin.”

 

Sehun’s jaw tightened in anger, his temper mediating with him to calm down and accept the apology for what it was.

 

It was far from what Sehun expected and wanted, but it was a start.

 

“Whatever. Let’s go get Baekhyun.”

 

Sehun took the wheel while Chanyeol got in the passenger seat, the engine roaring back to life and the car slowly making its way down the same road Baekhyun was now wandering on.

 

Despite his less than sincere apology, the blond was still reluctant to give his friend the benefit of the doubt, curious to know how often they’d gone behind each other’s backs.

 

“How many times did you guys do it?”

 

“Once, dude.” Chanyeol insisted. “How many did you think?”

 

Ignoring the question, Sehun raised a finger and spoke sternly.

 

“Just to be clear, we are are no longer fucking Space Cowboys. Once we’re back in the city, you mean absolute shit to me, got that?”

 

“You meant shit to me since yesterday, no hard feelings.” Chanyeol promised with a bite in his words.

 

Glad to know the feeling the mutual, Sehun put his and Chanyeol’s decaying friendship in the sidelines as soon as they caught up with a frantically pacing Baekhyun struggling to haul his two pieces of luggage around in the sweltering heat.

 

The boy slowed down, the car’s speed matching Baekhyun’s hasty steps which only quickened upon Baekhyun noticing he now had unwanted company.

 

“Baekhyun, get in. Please.” Chanyeol attempted to coax through the window, Baekhyun’s lips tight and his head high in the air with pride and resolve.

 

“To hell I will. I’m catching a ride to the next town and getting a train to Busan. Screw you guys and your Heaven’s Mouth bullshit. At this point, I’m convinced it doesn’t even exist.”

 

While not entirely wrong, the boys were aware that regardless of having no idea where the hell they were, a lonesome road was not where you wanted to be on your own right as night was about to fall. Surely, even Baekhyun’s pride had to know that.

 

“No, don’t. We’ll take you to the beach, just get in. Come on.” Sehun pleaded in vain.

 

“Why should I? So I can keep listening to you two fight each other like little kids?” With a sneer, Baekhyun slung his duffel bag closer to his body and picked up his pace, hoping to outwalk the boys in their vehicle.

 

Just like Sehun, Baekhyun’s endeavours also resulted futile for the Wolf managed to stay one step ahead of the man with both boys looking out the passenger side window, still trying to  negotiate with him much to his annoyance.

 

“We won’t fight anymore, we promise!”

 

“Yeah, we swear! We put it all behind us!” Chanyeol added, suspiciously way too optimistic if you asked Baekhyun. He may be a dying man but he sure as hell was not deaf. The boys’ quarrelling had been hard to ignore, even when he was a good ten feet away from them. There was absolutely no way they’d been able to patch things up and be peachy in a matter of minutes.

 

“Not gonna happen.” He refused, “I just want the beach to myself, not to share it with a pair of goons.”

 

Chanyeol’s temper was beginning to flare up once more but his dedication to impressing Baekhyun proved much more stable as he regained his cool and did his best to negotiate with the man.

 

“Alright, we fucked up. But it’s all settled, swear on my life. You take charge, you call the shots. We’re like 20 minutes away!”

 

Coming to a wary halt, Baekhyun slammed his duffel bag on the hood of the car and faced them, locking his gaze on the duo.

 

Truth be told, finding a ride into the city was close to impossible at this point. The road was basically deserted, it was scorching hot, his entire body hurt, and quite frankly Baekhyun was just _tired_.

 

If after all this trouble he didn’t get his day on the beach then all this; the long drives, cheap beers, dusty motel beds, and the endless tears would have all been in vain.

 

He valued his time too much to have let it all go to waste. Especially now.

 

“I hear one peep out of you and I’m gone!” He compromised, careful not to let his guard down too soon. He had to show these boys he meant business.

 

“Deal.” They agreed.

 

“And I’m making my own Code.”

 

“Done.” Both harmonized.

 

Huffing, Baekhyun crossed his arms and began to lay down the law to avoid any further misunderstandings and silly, unnecessary arguments.

 

“Okay. Listen up, kiddos. Rule Number One: I’m not fucking either of you. You two can go at it whenever you want but count me out.”

 

A silent, sad nod was all Baekhyun needed to know he’d gotten his point across. He continued.

 

“Two: I plan on sunbathing naked and I _don’t_ want you hovering over me like creeps.”

 

“Three: I choose the music.”

 

Yes, the pair had fairly decent taste for their age but some good old fashioned 90’s boy bands wouldn’t hurt anyone, would they?

 

“Four: The moment I tell you to, both of you will shut your pretty little mouths.”

 

Telling from the past two days, he had a slight premonition Rule #4 would be enforced a lot. Nonetheless, the two agreed.

 

“Five: You guys are cooking.” Because who the fuck wants to cook on vacation?

 

“Six: I don’t want to hear _anything—_ not _one_ little thing— about your poor little boyfriends.”

 

This should have probably been his first rule considering it was them who were indirectly responsible for the entire mess that had just occurred. Baekhyun was one eyeroll away from permanent eye damage if his companions brought up so much as their names even one more time.

 

He’d had enough infidelity to deal with in his own life, he was not about to take on even more.

 

“Six: at any given time, you must be at least 10 feet away from me and if necessary, that can go up to 100.”

 

“Seven-”

 

“How many do you-” Chanyeol whined, wondering when this seemingly infinite list would come to an end. As expected, Baekhyun didn’t find the abrupt interruption amusing by any means and glowered at the taller boy.

 

“I wasn’t finished.” He warned, Chanyeol shying back against his seat. “Seven, you guys do all the work. Putting up the tent, cleaning up, that stuff.” Again, who came on vacation only to put up tents? Not Byun Baekhyun, that’s for damn sure.

 

“Eight: no talking bullshit.” Right up there with number four, this should have been the very first rule implemented for the sake of both overall peace and Baekhyun’s wellbeing.

 

And finally…

 

“Nine: No trying to contradict me. Or push me.” He leered at Sehun for further emphasis on the last sentence, the boy cowering away with equal amounts of remorse and shame.

 

They agreed unanimously to the rules laid out for them, Baekhyun brusquely opening the car door, throwing his belongings inside before getting in himself.

 

He had nothing to lose. Nothing at all.

 

****

 

Twenty minutes turned out to be another three hours of wrong turns and driving in circles.

 

The sun had already set by the time they pulled into a grassy spot, Baekhyun fast asleep in the back seat and the boys also drowsy from the relentless Korean summer.

 

Sometime around dawn Baekhyun was woken by a slight breeze whistling past the small opening in the window.

 

Stirring, he took in his surroundings, the musty and earthy smell of wet sand, the crack of waves, the call of seagulls hovering above them.

 

A buzz of adrenaline sparked in him as he exited the vehicle, making his way to the enticing allure of the ocean.

 

 _Peace_.

 

At last, peace.

 

A salty breeze caressed the tresses of hair, blowing on his face delicately, the froth of the sea foam tickling in between his toes. As if a mountain was finally lifted from his shoulders, Baekhyun allowed himself to finally _breathe_.

 

He stood there on his own, soaking everything in, a sense of fulfillment coming over him.

 

Not long after Sehun and Chanyeol joined him after waking up, admiring the view along with him.

 

Both boys couldn’t help but let out a deep breath of relief as well.

 

They'd made it. Somehow, someway. They were here.

 

The two youngsters had their tent pitched and a campsite splayed out in a matter of minutes while Baekhyun had at some point stripped down like he’d promised and basked in the sand, soaking up as much sunlight as he could.

 

It was nearing noon when far off in the distance Baekhyun noticed the silhouette of what appeared to be a small boat and four people aboard getting closer and closer to shore. Curious, he slipped his swimming trunks on and approached the visitors.

 

A friendly fisherman back from his morning round pulled up with his wife and children. He advised them not to go too deep into the water for it was open sea. In lieu, he offered that he and his family take them to another beach, one much more calm and even throw in lunch for a few thousand won.

 

Not ones to pass up on ta chance to forego their cooking duties for the day, Chanyeol and Sehun agreed with no hesitation and Baekhyun was just as grateful to be spared of whatever meal the two would prepare.

 

The trio hopped on the motorboat, Chanyeol up in the bow with Shindong while Baekhyun and Sehun played with the two children.

 

“Now that’s a nice place to take a dip.” Shindong signaled to a nearby beach with waters of azure and cerulean blue. “The tide is low and the waves are calm. Wanna go for it?”

 

“What’s it called?” Baekhyun wondered, mind half preoccupied with keeping the little girl safe on his lap as the occasional harsh clash of waves rocked the boat back and forward.

 

“That’s Heaven’s Mouth for you, good sir.”

 

Speechless, Chanyeol turned to Sehun and exchanged a quick, knowing grin before looking away, remembering that they were no longer on friendly terms.

 

Still, under his breath, he heard the younger boy mutter to himself and didn’t need to see his subtle smile to know exactly what the other was thinking.

 

“No fucking way.”

 

****

 

Heaven’s Mouth certainly lived up to its name.

 

Chanyeol, who’d been fortunate enough to travel to some of the world’s most beautiful beaches, would easily consider this one of his personal favorites.

 

On top of the fact that it was exclusively for them and only them, the water was a pale shade of turquoise, almost so clear it reflected the royal blue sky above them perfectly. Palm trees canopied over the shore in a jungle of green, heads bowed down in obedience to the heavens, the sand soft, fine and white as if made from silk.

 

It truly felt like they were the only people on Earth, tucked away in their own little piece of paradise.

 

The majesty of the place was enough to make both Chanyeol and Sehun put their differences aside and engage in a friendly soccer match with Shindong who had the boys in bouts of hysterical laughter with his exaggerated commentary of their game that narrated every single detail down to the smallest technicality.

 

In the meantime, Shindong’s wife Shinae was preparing the fish they’d caught earlier while overlooking her daughter swimming in circles around a fond Baekhyun.

 

“Nari, leave the nice man alone!”

 

“It’s fine, she’s teaching me how to do a butterfly stroke!” Baekhyun assured, bringing his attention back to the young girl eager to continue their lessons and giggled along with her as they continued to splash around, the man never bringing up that he’d been on his school’s swim team for three years.

 

Chanyeol had called a timeout when he was out of breath from both playing and laughing too hard, collapsing on the sand and consequently ending up half covered in the filmy grains. Noticing Baekhyun out of the corner of his eye, he smiled and sprinted into the shallow water, slowing down the closer he got to the older man and the child entertaining him.

 

For moments he stayed quiet, simply just observing how the little girl cheered for Baekhyun every time he successfully pulled of a butterfly stroke and how in return, the man would radiate with pure glee seeing her smile with such innocence and genuine joy.

 

He began swimming himself, floating on his back past Baekhyun who eyed him curiously.

 

“Didn’t think you’d be so fond of kids.” Chanyeol told him. Baekhyun could only chuckle.

 

“Actual kids, yes. Not grown men who act like them.” He retorted, Chanyeol brushing off the comment and instead let his gaze flicker between Baekhyun and Nari who was now showing off the seashells she was finding to him, the man acting astonished as if each one was a piece of long lost treasure she’d just discovered.

 

“You and Yifan should adopt some. You look good with them.” He said as casual as could be, like it was more a side thought than an actual suggestion.

 

Regardless of how serious Chanyeol was about it, it didn’t take away from the fact it was pouring salt in a wound he’d been working so hard to heal. Baekhyun glanced down, masking the shot of pain it’d sent to his chest.  

 

“That’s not really a good idea, Chanyeol. But I appreciate it.” Watching Chanyeol continue to float around him, eyes closed and face serene, Baekhyun smirked and splashed him with water ultimately breaking him out of his happy place. “What’d I say about rule number six?”

 

Petulant, Chanyeol sighed and swam back to shore as he hummed to himself, looking more at peace than any human should probably ever be.

 

****

 

Dusk came in the form of scarlet reds and pomegranate pinks emblazoning the cloudless sky, a stretch of pale mauve looming over the horizon with a melancholic promise of night.

 

The group of three was ready to head back to their campsite after a long, hot day under the sun to get some food and much needed rest afterwards.

 

All their belongings had been loaded back into the small fishing boat and the only thing keeping them from leaving were the two children hoping to get in another ten minutes of careless frolicing, a cacophony of shrill laughter weaving into the hot, humid air.

 

Baekhyun took advantage of the delay and silently strayed from the rest, strolling to a recluse spot of the beach with only a pack of cigarettes and a lighter in his hands.

 

Chanyeol and Sehun trailed after Baekhyun upon noticing his departure, the two of them trading skeptical glances in silence as they watched the man walk away. They followed him until he took a seat right where the waves met with the tips of their toes, each taking their place on either side of them while the warm, coarse sand settled on the back of their thighs and in the palms of their hands.

 

Before them the horizon was at a dichotomy between lilac purples and fiery reds laced with orange, as if the sun was hesitant to say goodbye, holding on to the last remnants of day as best it could and Baekhyun could only wish he didn’t harbor the exact same feeling, not ready to fade into the darkness just quite yet.

 

Baekhyun’s delicate fingers brought a meager cigarette butt up to his lips, the crisp embers lighting a red matching the sunset as the man exhaled a deep intake of nicotine, tendrils of smoke parting from his mouth.

 

Watching the waves roll in was therapeutic to him in a way lullabies were to an infant, the enormity of the ocean before him both soothing yet terrifying all at once. It was a reminder that everything, no matter how infinite it seems, all has an inevitable end.

 

“I want to feel like this forever.” He voiced to no one in particular, heartbeat matching the calm glide of the wind waltzing with the water.

 

“It’d be nice, wouldn't it?” Sehun agreed, his legs brought up to his chest as his arms enveloped them.

 

As much as Baekhyun wanted to agree, he was first and foremost a realist.

 

Sitting there, looking off into the distance, the sound of children’s laughter in the background, two boys sitting next to him who’d showed him both the flourishing and the downfall of a supposed everlasting friendship; Baekhyun was going to miss it all. Baekhyun wanted more of it.

 

“I don’t want to go yet.” He thought out loud.

 

Chanyeol turned and eyed him, nudging towards the fishing boat Shindong was working on revving up again with his wife and children onboard, indicating it was time to head back.

 

“Hate to break it to you, but you kinda have to.”

 

The double entendre of Chanyeol’s words unknowingly served as a blow of realization to Baekhyun who couldn’t help but give a sad smile over the boy’s innocent comment.  

 

“Yes, I suppose you’re right.”

 

Baekhyun sat in serenity, observing the waves, one second roaring and curling over, only to dissolve into seafoam, ebbing back into the deep void of the ocean right before his eyes, the very essence of ephemeral.

 

Putting out what was left of his cigarette, he stood up and dusted the sand off his legs and thighs, throwing one final look over at the sky scattered with tiny stars, dark indigo bleeding into it like spilled ink until the sun was small and waning, on the cusp of disappearing.

 

****

 

Land was visible, as was the tent set up the trio had kept up hoping to return to some shut-eye underneath the stars like they’d initially promised Baekhyun.

 

Unfortunately, it looked like they’d been beaten to it.

 

In the midst of a lighthearted chat with Shindong, Chanyeol noticed a myriad of animals swarming around their tent, his heart nearly leaping out of his chest once it dawned on him that it was a herd of pigs that had most likely escaped one of the many farms in the neighboring town and had invaded their tiny sanctuary.

 

“You’ve got to be shitting me. Step on it, Shindong! They’re wrecking everything!”

 

As soon as the boat met with the shore, the two boys hopped off the boat and began shooing away the animals, three of which were rummaging through their tent in search of any semblance of food, much to their chagrin.

 

“They’re fucking shitting inside the tent!” Sehun cried out, grabbing the closest one to him by the sides and attempting to pull him out, a feat much easier said than done.

 

Baekhyun’s cardigan was hanging in the mouth of one of a rogue piglet from the tent, the man taking it upon himself to chase it down and retrieve his sweater while Shindong and his family worked on scaring them away as well.

 

Sehun was being dragged off by a boar while Chanyeol was flailing as he tried to prevent a pair of them from getting inside the tent once again. The chaos and madness surrounding Baekhyun had him laughing to himself at first, his bubbly giggles erupting into full bellied laughter, contagious to everyone around him.

 

These were the last few days he had left on Earth and here he was chasing down a herd of pigs on an empty beach in the middle of God knows where.

 

Life didn't get any better than this.

 

“What’s gotten into _you_?” Chanyeol stopped his chasing to observe Baekhyun as he caught his breath and drying away a stray tear.

 

“I’m just really happy right now, that’s all.”

 

And for the first time in a long time, he really was.

 

****

 

If one were to look up the word “courage” in any reputable dictionary, they would probably come across a definition somewhere along the lines of “strength in the midst of fear”. However, if one were to look through the years of Byun Baekhyun’s life for the same thing, their search would result fruitless.

 

That is until one fateful Thursday evening of his 31st year and most likely his last.

 

It’d taken him three decades to work up enough courage to finally take control of his own life and free himself of all the toxic events he’d been putting up with for far too long now.

 

He’d been weak when his parents had passed away when he was four; weak when his aunt had fallen ill; weak when his first boyfriend died in a hit and run; even weaker the first time he’d discovered Yifan’s infidelity yet had done nothing about it.

 

His whole life, plagued with death and misfortunes, had boiled down to this one moment: him in an old telephone booth, anxiously dialing each number with trembling fingers as he awaited for the all too familiar voice on the other line to answer and for Baekhyun to finally grow a pair and discover the true meaning of courage.

 

Yifan’s signature gravely tone answered with a hesitant hello, followed shortly by a desperate plea of Baekhyun’s name, like he’d been waiting for him to call all day.

 

The analog clock in the car had read 7:16 by the time they’d pulled up to Shindong’s humble but cozy home on the coast after their campsite was ruined by their lovely swine friends. Yifan always made it back to their apartment by three in the afternoon which meant he’d had a good four hours to listen to Baekhyun’s last voicemail on repeat while chugging away on the bottle of whisky he had saved for special occasions.

 

Baekhyun found it nostalgic that the first time he’d met Yifan, it’d been him that had been beyond inebriated and nursing the pain his sober self was too fragile to handle. Now, he’d come full circle. It was Yifan who was drunk beyond help during their final goodbye but admittedly, a nice glass of scotch sounded perfect right about now, too.

 

The Byun Baekhyun from a day ago would have broken into tears at the sound of Yifan calling out his name.

 

He would have gone crawling back to him if he’d asked with no second thoughts, done anything just to be in his arms again, to hold the only person left dearly until his time was up.

 

That Baekhyun would have not even an ounce of courage in his frail, deteriorating body, would have nothing but fear keeping him standing.

 

That Baekhyun no longer existed.

 

He couldn’t recall what it was to be afraid, to feel like his entire being depended on someone who had constantly let him down and even in his last moments, had continued to be nothing but that: a disappointment.

 

The realization that Baekhyun could have done better; that he deserved better- fueled him and disalented any last remnants of regret or pity he felt for the man he once loved more than he’d ever loved himself.

 

“Baekhyun, baby? Is that- is that you? You didn’t mean what you said in that message, right? You’re on your way home right now, aren’t you? Need me to pick you up? I’ll be there, I’ll be wherever you need to be, just come back, okay? Please?”

 

“I’m not ever coming back, Yifan.”

 

“You have to. Wh- what will my mother think? She’ll say you left me, that I wasn’t good to you, and-” His husband hiccuped, on the verge of another breakdown.

 

“Yifan, tell your mother whatever you want. Tell her it was my fault, I really don’t care. I was going to leave you anyways. You being unfaithful- it was the perfect excuse do it. Thank you so much for making it easier on me to decide.”

 

“No, you can’t leave me like this, Baekhyun. I- I’m lost without you. If this is because of the other guys-”

 

“This has nothing to do with them, Yifan. I would have left earlier if that was the case. I’m not stupid, I knew what’d been going on for years. Listen. This isn’t about revenge, okay? I know right now you don’t understand, but you will soon. I’m doing this for me.”

 

“This is all my fault, Baekhyun. I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry. Please, forgive me.”

 

“Stop blaming yourself, no one is at fault here. Not you, not me, not anyone.”

 

“How do you expect me to live knowing the man I love hates me and never wants to hear from me?”

 

“But I don’t hate you, Yifan. Maybe I did at some point. But not anymore. I forgive you. It’s all in the past. I’ll always love you. You were my everything, don't ever forget that. That’s all I wanted to say.”

 

“Where are you? I’m going to get you and we can work this out, Baekhyun. We can move back to California, start over, grow old together just like we always talked about doing. Give me another chance. Please.”

 

“Life doesn’t give second chances, Yifan.” Baekhyun spoke through gritted teeth, bitterness seeping in every word. He shook his head, ridding himself of negative thoughts, reminding himself of why he was here in the first place. “I wanted our goodbye to be a nice one, not a painful one. Don’t make this any harder than it has to be.”

 

“Baekhyun, I love you. You’re all I have, I refuse to let you slip away this easily.” Hearing his husband blubber like a hopeless child tore into the crevices of Baekhyun's already broken heart, the image of it too painful to bear.

 

He clutched the phone to his chest and blinked away the moisture brimming his tired, swollen eyes before placing back to his ear. He had to end this now.

 

“You were going to have to anyway. Goodbye, Yifan. I hope one day you learn to be happy, just like I have. I’m hanging up, okay?”

 

Ignoring the pathetic attempts Yifan made to stall him, Baekhyun closed his eyes as he hung up the phone, his heart in shambles and his chin quivering as it threatened to break into more sobs, breath shaky and hoarse.

 

Another thing Baekhyun realized that evening: being strong was harder than it seemed.

 

****

 

For the past half hour, Chanyeol had been searching high and low for Baekhyun. It should have been easy in a place so small and tight-knit but somehow, the man had managed to vanish into thin air.

 

He’d checked the six convenience stores, the three barber shops, and the four diners the town had to offer, not a trace of Baekhyun to be seen or heard from. If not wanting to be found was his intention, he was doing a damn good job at it.

 

Assuming Baekhyun just wanted some time to himself and that he’d show up eventually, Chanyeol gave up and turned back to reunite with Sehun who had taken it upon himself to find them somewhere to eat. The bright neon lights of a sign indicating an arcade caught Chanyeol’s attention, the boy’s curiosity getting the better of him when he spotted a familiar game machine that looked like a reliq now.

 

He stood at the entrance with his hands in his pocket, reminiscing about how much simpler life was back then. Back when all he and Sehun worried about were action movies and video games, not college or relationships or any bulllshit like that.

 

Stepping inside, he approached the game, the retro, low-fi graphics and music bringing a smile to his face. It was exactly as he remembered.

 

His moment was ruined by the faint sounds of stifled crying in the background that came from a rustic telephone booth in the back corner of the arcade, its existence noticeable only by the harsh yellow light emitting from the window.

 

While he was aware it was none of his business, he couldn’t help but feel the need to check on this person. Crying alone in an old telephone booth in a dingy arcade had to be the lowest of lows.

 

The closer he grew, the louder and clearer the cries became. It was only a matter of seconds before the boy recognized where else he’d heard them and his hunch was proven correct once he saw a small, slender frame and blond, disheveled  hair in the small opening.

 

Startled, Baekhyun stepped back, a flash of humiliation in his dark brown eyes.

 

“What are you doing here?”

 

“I could ask you the same thing.” Chanyeol countered, crossing his arms and leaning against one of the game machines. “Baekhyun… Are you sure everything’s alright?”

 

“Why wouldn’t it be?”

 

“Well for starters, you’ve been crying every day of the trip, then there was the thing with me and Sehun, and _that_ right now…” Chanyeol carefully eyed the man in front of him, analyzing his body language from his downcast eyes to the anxious gnawing of his lower lip. “Yifan cheated on you, didn’t he?”

 

“That’s none of your business.” A flame of anger flared in Baekhyun as he shouldered past the boy, ready to storm out of the arcade but he was hindered by Chanyeol grabbing hold of his wrist and pulling him back.

 

“I know it’s not but I also know you don’t deserve my cousin treating you like shit or taking you for granted. So, what happened?”

 

He'd meant what he'd said. Chanyeol really did have no business knowing what was going on in his marriage but he’d kept so much in the dark for so long and it wasn't like he would live to face much of the consequences of speaking out anyhow.

 

Like he'd said before, he had nothing to lose.  

 

“Three times.” He began. “He’s cheated on me three times. But that’s not why I’m like this, not entirely.”

 

“Then what is it? You can tell me. I’m great with secrets.”

 

“Like you sleeping with Sehun’s boyfriend secrets? I’m good, thanks”

 

“Fuck Sehun. Go on then, what’s got you so down?”

 

“A lot of things, Chanyeol. Things I hope you never have to deal with at my age.”

 

“Well, you’re not balding, that’s good. So is it... erectile dysfunction? No, it can’t be... you got it up the other day-” He trailed off,  an irritated Baekhyun walking past him and headed for the exit. He wasn't in the mood to deal with nonsense right now.

 

“Forget it, I’m better off talking to a fucking palm tree.”

 

“Hey, I’m just trying to lighten the mood.” Chanyeol called after him, successfully stalling him once again. “I’m sorry. But as soon as we get back, Yifan has no idea what he’s in for. Believe me.”

 

 _Oh, I do_.

 

“Thank you, Chanyeol. I really do appreciate the gesture but don’t let your efforts go to waste. They’re not worth it.”

 

Chanyeol’s face fell into what Baekhyun interpreted to be disappointment and confusion, not that he could blame the poor kid. But perhaps some things were better left unsaid after all.

 

In a moment of genuine empathy, Baekhyun placed a hand on the boy’s shoulder, giving it a firm but reassuring squeeze, following it up with a smile.

 

“Don’t worry about me, Chanyeol. Really. Now how about some dinner? My treat.”

 

****

 

That night, dinner was spent at a nearby dingy shack that served as a dive bar for the locals, frequented only by the trio and a group of older men there solely to play cards and drink.

 

Today had been exhausting and all three could agree there was nothing any of them wanted more than a nice plate of food and some soju.

 

Sated from their seafood platters, the three sat back lazily sipping on their third or fourth bottle, Baekhyun pouring soju into makeshift shot glasses the shack owner had pulled out.

 

“I always knew when Yifan was cheating on me.” He began, pulling the thought out of nowhere.

 

“How could you tell?” Sehun slurred as he reached for another shot, too inebriated to discern the fact Baekhyun had just dropped a major bomb relating to his marriage.  

 

“Every time he slept with someone new he’d try to experiment those things on me.” Baekhyun explained.

 

“Like the Passion Propeller?” Chanyeol guessed with a sleazy smirk.

 

Throwing his head back in a laugh, Baekhyun nodded.

 

“Exactly like the Passion Propeller. You have to do that shit very carefully you know? With finesse.”

 

“Was he good in the sack?” Chanyeol wanted to know, eyes never leaving Baekhyun as he downed his own shot of the recently poured soju.

 

“He was alright, I guess.” The man shrugged, “He was _great_ at eating ass, though. I’ll give him that.”

 

Sehun snorted and grabbed yet another shot, prompting the others to join him in a toast.

 

“To Yifan, the ass eater!” He declared, the three of them flinging their heads back and let the crisp taste flood into their bloodstream.

 

Baekhyun wiped the residue with the back of his hand and set his glass down, immediately pouring himself another one.

 

“Yes, to Yifan.” He murmured under his breath, too faint for the boys to hear.

 

Instead of spiraling into his vicious of self-deprecation like he had been so prone to these past few days at the mere mention of his husband’s name, he opted to appreciate the moment; only God knew how much longer it would last. Besides, he’d said his goodbye; it was too late to regret it.

 

He smiled to himself as he took in the sight of the group of men—surely childhood friends—making a ruckus behind them, countless insults and jabs thrown in a way reminiscent of a certain duo Baekhyun had become acquainted with on more levels than one.  

 

“You know, I hate to admit it but I’m really glad I met you guys. Truth be told, you can be total pricks sometimes but all in all,  you’re some cool guys.”

 

Immersed in their drunken state, the pair cackled and giggled amongst themselves before clinking their glasses and taking hearty swigs.

 

“Fuck yeah, we are.” Sehun cheered, pushing back in the chair and nearly tumbling out of it.

 

“I love this country. You breathe life here. It’s magical.” Inhaling, Baekhyun closed his eyes and let a smile travel across his face, the alcohol induced high only enhancing his natural euphoria as he soaked in all the sounds and every scent surrounding him, wishing they could remain forever in his memory.

 

“To Korea!”

 

A buzz of merriment took over the atmosphere, Baekhyun watching as the boys interacted, doing one love shot after another, each one depleting the very little sense and consciousness left in them.

 

“So, are you guys friends again or what?” He asked, a grin lining the corners of his lips.

 

“Nope.” Sehun answered immediately, Chanyeol also shutting the idea down with a firm  “not a chance.”

 

“Oh, come on.” Baekhyun sneered. “You’re going to have to make up sooner or later.”

 

“Even after he called me a lowlife? I don’t fucking think so.” Sehun reprimanded, evidently still rancorous over their previous brawl. Chanyeol, however, could only find the humor in it.

 

“Dude, that loogie was gnarly. Even you have to admit it.”

 

“It was my car, anyway. What do you care, you yuppie son of a bitch?”

 

“Well, you sure as hell don't mind spending time at our villas and the free access to the country club, do you?” The taller of the two fired back, albeit lacking his usual snark.

 

“Well, duh. I want to enjoy a bit of your what your dad is swindling from the government, too.”

 

“What? But your father’s a good man, isn’t he, Chanyeol?”

 

The genuine and child-like innocence in Baekhyun’s question had the two friends both cackling over and pitying the man’s ingenuity.

 

“Right, my dad’s a ‘good man’.” Chanyeol mocked, bursting into excessive giggles along with Sehun who nearly spit out the new shot he’d just taken from laughing too hard.

 

“Bullshit, you _are_ friends again.” Reaching for his beer this time, Baekhyun raised it high in the air, the young duo toasting with him. “Cheers to the Space Cowboys!”

 

Noticing both he and the older man had finished off the last of their drinks, Chanyeol grabbed the empty bottles and stood up on his way to fetch another round.

 

“You want another beer?” He asked Baekhyun, the latter’s face lighting up.

 

“ _Please_. But a nice, cold one.”

 

“Coming right up!” With a slight wobble in his step, Chanyeol made his way over to the bartender, Sehun seeing this as his chance to apologize face to face without his friend there to ridicule him.

 

“Hey, Baekhyun?” Sehun peeped sheepishly, voice fading into nearly a whisper. “I’m really sorry for pushing you the other day. I don’t know what got into me, but-”

 

“Stop it, Sehun. Don’t. I’ve let it go. Come here, gimme a kiss.” Sehun’s head lolled as he leaned over the table, his lips coming into contact with Baekhyun’s in a dainty peck that put a lazy but contented smile on the man’s face. “You’re forgiven.”

 

Chanyeol was walking back from the “bar” and was in time to witness the exchange. Had he been sober, it would have called for another bout of jealousy but tonight he was hammered beyond belief and it would be hard for anything to kill his mood at this point.

 

Instead, he saw a window of opportunity to pry about something that had riddled him with curiosity and he’d be a fool not to take it.

 

“Serious question here, Baekhyun.” He started, popping open both bottles and setting one down in front of the older man before taking a seat next to his friend. “Which one of us is better in bed?”

 

Scoping out his drink, Baekhyun chuckled as he took small sips, the boys’ expectant gazes only adding to the humor.

 

“Each has their charm.” He disclosed coyly, hiding his simper behind the dark glass of his beer.

 

“But who made you _feel_ better?” Chanyeol urged and that was when Baekhyun broke into full on cackles before settling down and answering his question.

 

“Honestly? Both of you were a disaster. Chanyeol here makes the most hideous come face, it just goes like-” The man contorted his face, perhaps a tad too exaggerated but it was still a pretty accurate representation of Chanyeol’s face, earning him silent wheezes from the duo. But it was no laughing matter. “Really though, both of you need to stop jacking off and start working on your stamina. That shit’s embarrassing.”

 

“Sehun finished before I did!”

 

“Nope, both of you gotta work on it. Your poor boyfriends, no wonder they left for Europe.”

 

“What are we supposed to do in our free time then? Nothing beats beating your meat. Am I right or am I right?” Chanyeol defended, accepting the loud high fives he got from both males.

 

Even Baekhyun couldn’t argue there.

 

“To jacking off!” Sehun toasted once again, despite the shot in his hand nearly empty from how unstable his grasp on it was and giggled at himself when he missed the same shot once they all drank.

 

“Speaking of which: neither of you know how to suck dick. It’s not corn on the cob you’re dealing with down there, shit. You have to be careful, delicate. There’s no greater pleasure than _giving_ pleasure.” Baekhyun preached, index finger aimed at and wagging between the two friends to make sure his point was made.

 

“I’ll toast to that.” Chanyeol whooped, reckless in lifting his beer up to the sky, the clank of glass setting off another round of chuckles from the trio. “To blow jobs!”

 

While it was true that Sehun’s mind was now having a much harder time piecing things together, their latest salute had him automatically associating it with something that had been troubling him for a while.

 

“Be honest with me, Park. Did Jongin suck you off?”

 

A bad premonition intruded, disrupting the once carefree nature of the night.

 

Baekhyun was already mentalizing the idea of ending the evening patching up these two idiots after another brawl and figured he might as well get as wrecked as possible while he still could just to be able to tolerate it.

 

Much to his surprise, Chanyeol only snickered and raised his eyebrows before guzzling down half his lager.

 

“He’s a biter, that Jongin.”

 

Baekhyun began to think he was actually hallucinating when instead of another nasty scowl, Sehun joined in with his friend’s laughter.

 

“God, _I know right_ ? I never have the heart to tell him though, he’s always _so_ into it.”

 

Chanyeol nodded his head in complete concurrence, then followed up with questions of his own.

 

“What about Luhan?”

 

“He was good.” The youngest recalled, mind unfiltered.

 

“I thought you said he didn’t blow you?”

 

“It was just the tip, don’t get too excited.” He brushed off, Baekhyun still holding his breath and just waiting for this to all to break into havoc.

 

“Since we’re dishing out the truth anyway…  I lied. Jongin and I had sex more than once.” The calmness in Chanyeol’s tone was almost terrifying, his demeanour just as nonchalant and now Baekhyun was actually nervous, his eyes darting to witness Sehun’s reaction.

 

However, in an anticlimactic plot twist of sorts, Sehun only shrugged it off and continued to sup up his own beer, completely unbothered.

 

“Don’t sweat it, man. Luhan and I had been fucking almost on a weekly basis, too before he left.”

 

That statement finally broke through to Chanyeol, Baekhyun noticing a shift in his posture, alertness brimming in his eyes. This couldn’t be good.

 

“Are you saying all this time I’ve been fucking Luhan, I’ve just been ‘stirring the gravy’? Sehun, you little fucker, do you know what this means?” Here it was. The moment of truth. Even Sehun’s air of indifference had vanished, a prickle of fear keeping him frozen in place.“We’re cum brothers, dude!”

 

Chanyeol erupted into raucous laughter, urging Sehun to clink their bottles together in celebration. Once past his initial shock, Sehun too became just as rowdy as his friend, the two boys giving each other pats on the back like business partners who’d just signed a multi-million deal.

 

Nothing made sense Baekhyun's world anymore. He loved it.

 

Seeing the need to spread the good news, Chanyeol turned around to face the group of older men still huddled around their set of cards, grabbing their attention by flailing his arms in the air.

 

“Hey, hey! Gentlemen! Guess what! This guy right here _boned_ _my_ _boyfriend_! Can you believe it?” Chanyeol fumbled over every other word but he got his point across, his arm slung around Sehun who was too busy trying not to wheeze a lung out from laughing too hard.

 

“Cheers to the Spanish guys who are probably pile-driving both of them as we speak!” Baekhyun announced, handing both of them another shot glass he’d filled up while they’d been busy making fools of themselves to complete strangers.

 

This caused a ruckus between the already hyped up youngsters, who gladly picked up their glasses and boasted them up high.

 

“Yeah! Cheers to Fernando!”

 

“To Marco!”

 

Baekhyun could no longer contain his own giggles and let his snickers become full hearted snorts over how ridiculous this entire thing was. Fanning himself as his hysterics died down, he caught sight of an old jukebox sitting idling in the corner of the shack.

 

“You guys have any change on you?”

 

In the midst of their inebriated daze, the friends managed to fish out loose coins from their pockets and hand them over to Baekhyun. The older man was standing up to be on his merry way over to the machine when Sehun suddenly got serious and sat down, clearly woozy from everything that had just happened in less than five minutes.

 

“Hey. Chanyeol.” The taller of the two took a seat next to him, in part because he no longer had any control of his legs, the other half having to do with the gravity of his friend’s tone worrying him. “Your cousin, too. The Junmyeon guy. I fucked him, too.”

 

Frozen in place, Baekhyun's eyes darted between them both, unsure of how the situation would play out with the boys emotions as ambivalent as they currently were.

 

“When?”

 

“On your 19th birthday when he drove me home…” Sehun blushed, only making his cheeks even rosier.

 

The information took a while for Chanyeol to register, the puddle of soju his brain was swimming in probably having to due a lot with it.

 

Nevertheless, it sunk in after a few seconds yet his face remained blank and unreadable.

 

“Fuck.” He cursed, blinking once before breaking into a wide grin. “Hell yeah, dude!”

 

All three grew noisy, Baekhyun eternally relieved and thankful for what soju could do and the two boys too intoxicated and busy guffawing and high fiving each other to care.

 

This called for one last round of shots, Chanyeol encouraging Baekhyun to join in.

 

“Cheers, motherfucker. To your cousin!”

 

****

 

In a drunken trance, the trio stumbled into the storage space accommodated into a guest house behind Shindong’s house, their trail from the shack to the house littered with giggles and poorly stifled laughter, the three of them holding on to each other to remain steady.

 

Once inside, Sehun slumped onto the queen sized bed they would share, eyes droopy and body lethargic. Baekhyun stood in front of him trying to regain his balance using Chanyeol as support, both of them snorting and giggling every time the older man tumbled forward, eventually giving up altogether and let his entire weight fall onto Chanyeol.

 

Next thing he knew, the younger boy was finding his way to his lips and taking them hostage, Baekhyun’s small face cupped in between the other’s rough hands. Baekhyun’s mouth parted open, giving Chanyeol’s tongue the entry he was requesting.

 

While it could have just been the alcohol talking for him, Chanyeol was an amazing kisser. Even if his motor skills were currently lacking, he still had full control of what his mouth was doing; teasing at Baekhyun’s tongue with his own, nibbling on the man’s lower lip, all with a cheeky smirk that never left his face.

 

A whimper came from deep in his throat, eliciting the same reaction from Chanyeol who pressed their bodies even closer, Baekhyun feeling the boy’s length grow hard as he rubbed himself against it, his hands settled into the deep pockets of the boy’s jeans.

 

Sehun, who had been watching this all play out before him through hooded eyes, decided he wasn’t going to sit out this time. Getting up, he stood behind the short, blond man, his arms encompassing the other’s rounded hips and earning himself another suppressed moan out of him.

It wasn’t long before two pairs of hands began to slide across the man’s torso, a pair of plush lips kissing down his nape while Chanyeol remained still fully invested in driving him crazy with his mouth alone.

 

Breaking away from the darker haired boy, he licked his already moist lips and gulped as he sunk down to his knees in between the two, sparing no time while he undid the buttons on the boys’ jeans one by one, then pulled their boxers down to their knees and revealing just how aroused both of them were.

 

With a contented sigh and a tiny, breathless laugh, Baekhyun took them both into his grasp and gave them experimental tugs, the pair losing their balance but regaining it just as quick as soon as the man took turns coating them both in his spit, mouth warm and wet.

 

The boys mewled with each lick and suckle, unwittingly gravitating towards each other until their noses touched, their soju soaked breath fanning over each other’s faces. A force unbeknownst to them pulled them even closer until their lips touched, neither of them second guessing it, simply going along with the initially innocent kiss that took only seconds to turn into something much more heated.

 

Clothes and shoes were soon shed and sprawled on the dirty, cold floor. Hot breath mingled, moist hungry lips bit on each other as desperate hands clawed at soft skin for leverage.

 

Baekhyun had at some point stood up himself, wedged in between the storm of hormones and libido, the amount of arousal circulating within him reaching dangerous levels every time the boys played with his nipples or snuck a finger past the cleft of his ass, tormenting him into borderline insanity.

 

Head spinning, Baekhyun found it hard to distinguish between fantasy and reality, clarity coming only when one of the boys finally took it upon themselves to guide Baekhyun down until his back touched the bed, spread his legs open and started massaging his taut hole with both their fingers and tongue.

 

Within moments, the boy was hovering over and deep inside him, hip movements short and erratic while the other, not one to miss out on the fun, prodded at Baekhyun’s mouth with his cock until ever so pliantly did Baekhyun grant him entry and began pleasuring him with his mouth alone, wallowing in the ecstasy of it all.

 

The rest of the night could only be pieced together in Baekhyun’s memory by rough groans, even rougher kisses, and an endless sensation of satisfaction as the young pair took turns in fucking him however they pleased; Sehun coming in just as soon as Chanyeol pulled out, Baekhyun’s entrance still slick and overly sensitive each time.

 

Baekhyun was almost certain he was losing it when halfway through Sehun turning him over and putting him on his hands and knees, he heard the boy let out a sharp gasp of what could only be surprise. He craned his neck in curiosity, only to discover Chanyeol kneeled behind his friend, face buried in between the boy’s legs, hands holding the boy’s thighs apart.

 

Palming himself, he watched Sehun’s face distort with pleasure his mouth falling open in a silent moan when Chanyeol got on his feet, aligned his shaft with the other’s rim and pushed into him with a steady grip on the boy’s thin waist, teeth gritted and eyes screwed shut.

 

Entranced, Baekhyun pumped himself harder, the feeling not being enough for him. He needed—wanted—more.

 

“One of you please, just keep fucking me.” He heaved, breath staggering.

 

Shuddering, Sehun stepped forward, Chanyeol still attached to him. He waited for the older man to go back into his former position, his entire chest flat on the mattress and only his pretty, perky ass lifted off the bed, his back arched and thighs strategically parted.

 

None of them could remember ever feeling as good as they did that night, the room echoing with an orchestra of heavy panting, flesh on flesh on flesh, and torrid kisses left on bruised, swollen lips.

 

All three of them were too inebriated and fired up to worry about gallantry or adding a facet of romance; no, tonight was all about self indulgence—almost on a primitive level— ;their civility had gone down the drain along with their inhibitions.

 

A web of limbs was what they resembled at the climax of it all, impossible to fathom where each of them ended and the other began. Not like it mattered, anyway.

 

They found their release, each one just as messy as the act itself, the bedsheets surely sullied and sticky but huddled together in a sultry, open mouthed kiss between the three of them, insignificant inconveniences like those were the last thing on their mind.

 

With the last of their dwindling consciousness, they splayed out on the bed, sweaty skin sticking together. It took only a matter of minutes before their minds went dark and swirled into the beautiful eden of sleep.

 

****

 

Chanyeol woke up sore and tangled in the middle of two other naked bodies, a head splitting ache taking away all the soothing effects of the soju and beer from last night, leaving only the nasty ones and a dry, sandy feeling on his tongue.

 

He creaked an eyelid open, horrified upon discovering it wasn’t Baekhyun, but rather Sehun’s face he was waking up next to, his friend awakening just as quickly as Chanyeol tumbled out of the bed with the same look of astonishment and humiliation all in one.

 

Neither dared to speak, opting to get semi-dressed in silence, extremely cautious to not make eye contact with each other under any circumstances.

 

This was a one night stand neither of them had asked for and both wordlessly agreed they should never speak of. Ever.

 

The mastermind behind it, who up til now had been fast asleep, finally stirred and took his time in waking up, stretching his arms high over his head and loudly yawning once he did.

 

“Wow. Wild night we had, huh?” He giggled and sighed in contentment, oblivious to the awkwardness stewing between his two companions. “I’m gonna go help Shinae with breakfast. See you guys in a bit.”

 

Beaming with glee, he tugged on his cardigan and some loose linen shorts, walked over to each of the boys and left a tiny kiss on the corner of their lips before exiting the guest house and left Chanyeol and Sehun to endure their tense, silent showdown on their own.

 

They finished pulling on the rest of their clothes, both of them mute and keeping a safe distance from each other when they joined Baekhyun and Shindong’s wife in the tiny kitchen of their home a couple steps from the improvised guest house they’d stayed in.

 

Greeted by warm smiles from everyone in the room, the boys shifted uncomfortably, only Chanyeol brave enough to finally speak.

 

“Morning.”

 

“Good morning. How are you two feeling? Sounded like quite a party in there.” Shinae asked, the pair going red at the idea that there’d been other witnesses to whatever had happened last night.

 

With a nervous laugh, Chanyeol assured her they were fine and politely declined all her offers to whip up some homemade hangover remedies for the two of them, not wanting to be anymore trouble.

 

“Actually, we really should be heading back. My parents are probably worried about me and Sehun needs to return the car back to his brother. You coming with?” He asked, turning to an apologetic looking Baekhyun.

 

“Don’t think so, sweetheart. I’m going to stay here a few days with Shindong and his family. They’re going to show me all the beaches along the coast, it’ll be nice.” He smiled, neither of the boys looking as enthusiastic about the prospect as he was.

 

“Is this goodbye, then?” Sehun finally muttered, looking like a small lost, toddler.

 

Sighing, Baekhyun offered him a sad smile and an empathetic nod of his head.

 

“I’m afraid it is.”

 

****

 

The _Wolf_ was packed and loaded by noon after they’d all had lunch and after Sehun and Chanyeol said their thank yous and goodbyes to Shindong and his lovely little family. Baekhyun accompanied them back to the vehicle, hoping to get some alone time with the duo before they set off, fully aware this may be his last opportunity to see them.

 

Not that they needed to know that, of course.

 

“Looks like you’re all good to go. Have a safe trip, kiddos. Don’t get into too much trouble, please.”

 

He threw his arms around both of them tightly and got choked up when they each clung to him longer than necessary, reluctant to let him go.

 

Attempting to mask his glassy eyes, Sehun cleared his throat and told them he needed a bathroom break before they got going. Chanyeol used the time to take hold of Baekhyun’s slender hands, running his thumbs over the smooth knuckles.

 

“Whenever you’re back in the city and want to go grab a few drinks… you know where to find me.” His large, puppy dog eyes looked hopefully down at the older man.

 

Chuckling, Baekhyun nodded and gave the boy’s hands a gentle squeeze.

 

“Thank you, Chanyeol. I’ll keep that in mind.”

 

“I could make you really happy, you know. Give me a few years to mature, wank some out and you’ll see I’m _way_ better than Yifan ever was.”

 

“Really? Will you last longer than you do now?” Baekhyun raised a playful eyebrow, smirking.

 

“I’ll keep you up all night.” Chanyeol winked, a bubbly laugh coming from the older man.

 

He gave Chanyeol one final look over.

 

The boy was handsome, no doubt about it. Had a bit of a temper, sure, but underneath it all, Baekhyun knew he only meant well. He was at his prime, had an entire future ahead of him. He didn’t know what he was asking of Baekhyun, it was something he would never be able to give him.

 

If it was a happy ending Chanyeol was after, he was looking at the wrong person.

 

Letting go of the other’s hands, Baekhyun cupped the boy’s cheek lovingly and let out a contrite breath of air.

 

“No, Chanyeol. You’re too young for that kind of heartbreak.”

 

Much to his surprise, the young boy simply nodded and hunched his shoulders in a shrug.

 

“I tried. The offer’s still there, though. Always will be. I mean it.”

 

“You’re not going to try to convince me otherwise?” Baekhyun was doubtful about the boy being so quick to back down, but Chanyeol had fair reasoning.

 

“Don’t you remember Rule Number Nine? No contradicting you.”

 

The man rolled his eyes and giggled, fondness fluttering in his heart.  

 

In that exact moment, Sehun came back out from the house just in time for Baekhyun to get teary eyed again and gather them in another long hug.

 

“My boys. Come here. Thank you. For everything. I’ll never forget this.” He whispered in their ear, any louder and they would have picked up on just how tremulous his voice had gotten. He held each of their faces with one hand, bringing them all together until their foreheads touched, Chanyeol and Sehun for once not minding the proximity. “Do me a favor and find yourselves some decent boyfriends for once, okay?”

 

Baekhyun chuckled when the two nodded obediently, giving them both a tiny peck on the forehead before breaking away and finally allowing the two to get into the car and be on their way.

 

He stood beside the rolled down window on Chanyeol’s side, kneeling down to assure the one thing that had troubled him since he’d gotten the news.

 

“Promise you’ll remember me, okay?” He pleaded, a tinge of both hopefulness and worry laced in every syllable.  

 

Once more, the taller of the two took hold of the man’s pale, cold hand, squeezing it tight with his own.

 

“Baekhyun, you’re unforgettable.”

 

Choking back even more tears, the man accepted his answer with a nod of acknowledgement and stepped back, the car’s engine roaring back to life. Sehun gave him a bashful smile along with a “take care” and a small wave before taking off, the vehicle now a tiny speck on the horizon.

 

A few miles down the road, Chanyeol looked in the side mirror, noticing Baekhyun had stayed in the same spot and was still waving them goodbye far off in the distance, cheeks now wet and his heart feeling the fullest it’d ever had in 31 years.

 

****

 

Time worked in strange ways.

 

It’d been less than a year since their road trip but if you asked Chanyeol, it’d been a lifetime.

 

Many things had happened in that short lapse of time, unfortunately not many Chanyeol would care to remember.

 

Luhan and Jongin had returned from their trip only to reveal that, as predicted by Baekhyun, their travels to Europe had involved more than just museum visits and croissants for breakfast.

 

In an ironic twist of fate, both had come to discover a mutual attraction for each other and had consummated their relationship with the help of a French go-go dancer in a shady hotel room in Amsterdam.

 

Funny enough, Chanyeol didn’t seem to mind, even finding the whole thing somewhat laughable.

 

Sehun too, handled it stoically; he and Jongin agreeing on staying friends. He’d followed Baekhyun’s advice and found love elsewhere, with a new exchange student named Johnny from Chicago.

 

And that was sadly all Chanyeol knew about his friend now.

 

Upon arriving back home from their spontaneous getaway reality reclaimed itself back into their lives.

 

The basis of their friendship had been shattered; it was going to be difficult if not impossible to put it back no matter how hard they tried.

 

So they didn’t.

 

Chanyeol’s father had eventually won and pressured him into entering university with a major in engineering and that alone had been enough to keep him busy. Suddenly there was no more time to lounge around with Sehun, smoke some weed or go out partying.

 

Although, Chanyeol couldn’t really say he missed it.

 

Their commute back into the city had been silent save a few words only meant to let the other know they were headed the wrong way. Once back home, the remaining weeks of their summer went by with little to no communication on both their ends, the Park residence noticeably quieter than it had been for the past decade.

 

Knowing he was losing Sehun brought a dull pain to him, even more so knowing there really wasn’t much he could do to stop it. While the loss of a once dear friend was heartbreaking on its own, perhaps the biggest blow came on the last Friday before he was college bound.

 

He had just returned home from taking a swim at the country club only to find his aunt weeping on his couch with his mother, father, and Yifan attempting to comfort her in vain, the four of them looking up at him in anguish as soon as he’d walked in.

 

Chanyeol never planned on ever returning to Heaven’s Mouth. Not this soon and not under these circumstances, at least.

 

It was strange to see his family— dressed in the finest black attire money could buy, crying what were surely crocodile tears all while trying not to get sand in their overpriced shoes— next to Shindong and his family in their humble apparel, barefoot and in genuine mourning, little Nari the most affected of the four, weeping into her mother’s bosom.

 

Chanyeol never really did understand why it was that they were crying. Yifan most likely out of remorse, perhaps even the tiniest bit of guilt his conscious could muster. But the others in his family; his mother, his father, his aunt, his uncle, his cousins— What right did they have to falsely agonize over someone they never even knew?

 

Even Chanyeol, who’d shared one of the most intimate moments possible with him had no idea who he was, not really. The very little time he’d spent with him had been clouded by mystery but now at least the boy understood why Baekhyun preferred to keep it all a secret.

 

The man’s heart was just too big and he was much too selfless to burden anyone else with his troubles.

 

Perhaps that had been the reason why instead of shedding tears like everyone else, he was happy as he watched the tides roll in, washing away the last of a man who had left his mark on him for better or for worse, the same man who always cried himself to sleep but hid behind phony yet breathtaking smiles.

 

Baekhyun no longer had to pretend.

 

He finally had the peace he deserved, he was free from all the pain.

 

And if he feared being forgotten, erased from time, Chanyeol would make sure to keep his promise.

 

Baekhyun would always live on, Baekhyun would be remembered.

 

Unforgettable, forever.

 

*****

 

Seeing Sehun again after so long was as bittersweet as it was uncomfortable.

 

Chanyeol’s class had ended early that day, something he took advantage of by getting some extra studying time in the city library downtown.

 

The last person he expected to run into in the subway was his old friend, who’d traded in his secondhand t-shirts for button down shirts and dress pants, the same outfits he would give Chanyeol hell for once upon a time.

 

Chanyeol took a seat next to him with no formal greeting, just a quick glance up and down and a huff of laughter.

 

“Nice glasses.”

 

“They’re fake.”

 

“No shit.”

 

The taller wasn't going to allow the awkward tension slowly enveloping them to win.  He cleared his throat and asked Sehun where he was going, also turning out to be the exact same destination.

 

“Care to join me for some coffee and catch up?  I'll buy.”

 

Afraid of adding onto the edginess surrounding them, Sehun agreed, both getting off at their stop and walking in silence to the café down the street from the library, remaining quiet even as they were seated in a booth by an overly friendly waitress.

 

They ordered, Chanyeol noticing but making no comments on Sehun's americano, the very drink he used to hate with a passion as kids.

 

Guess people did change, after all.

 

Instead of dwelling over it, Chanyeol cleared his throat, Sehun staring at him with an unreadable expression, expecting him to say something.

 

“Did you um…  Did you hear about Baekhyun?”

 

After a quiet sip of his coffee, Sehun gave a shake of his head.

 

“No. How is he?”

 

“He’s dead.”

 

“What?”

 

The first show of emotion in their entire interaction was Sehun's voice getting caught in his throat, eyebrows stitched together in disbelief, wondering if this was Chanyeol's idea of a sick joke.

 

“Yeah. A few weeks after we left. He had cancer, it’d spread all over. He knew he was going to die when he came with us. Shindong let my family know.”

 

“Did you go to the funeral?” The blond croaked, hands curled tightly around the sides of his mug.

 

Chanyeol bobbed his head, mouth pushed into a tight line.

 

“All my family did. It was in Heaven’s Mouth. Put his ashes in the ocean. It was actually kind of  nice.”

 

Eyes scanning the table, Sehun took a handful of moments to absorb the idea of Baekhyun being gone. The part that got to him to him the most was that all that time, Baekhyun had been fully aware of his imminent demise.

 

He and Chanyeol had been some of the people Baekhyun willingly chose to spend his last days with; he'd sought comfort in two total strangers having no one else to turn to.

 

Admittedly, Sehun had never been great at expressing his emotions. You could blame it on him growing up with the mentality of always having to suck things up and sticking them out but truth be told it was always really a question of pride.

 

Chanyeol, always so headstrong and proud himself, had never displayed any signs of weakness in all the time they’d been friends. It was only natural Sehun wanted to follow in his footsteps.

 

Old habits die hard.

 

Suppressing the burn behind his eyes and the sinking feeling in his stomach, Sehun only glanced down again at the wooden table, speaking quietly.

 

“That sucks, man.”

 

If Chanyeol hadn’t known Sehun for as long as he had, he wouldn’t have hesitated to blow up on him for such a lackluster response, curse him to hell for taking Baekhyun’s death with such indifference after what they’d been through.

 

But he knew better. He understood. Maybe even better than Sehun ever would.

 

So he bit his tongue and chose to say nothing, instead giving his former friend the time he knew the boy needed to assimilate to the harsh reality they now had to live with and accept.

 

Just as Chanyeol had anticipated, Sehun was evasive of the topic and preferred to sit in silence, void of any emotion, only taking an occasional sip of his coffee until he finished it.

 

“Well, um… I have to go. I’m meeting up with Johnny. See you around, Chanyeol.” He pulled out a wad of bills from his wallet, setting them down on the table next to the packets of sugar.

 

“Later, man.” Chanyeol raised a hand as his goodbye, tinkering with the spoon in his possession once his friend turned away, his departure sealed with the chime of a bell hanging above the entrance.

 

Pensive, Chanyeol replayed the past ten minutes in his head, hating how much it’d hurt him to see in Sehun a stranger rather than the rowdy, fun loving boy he would have once given his life for if asked. A part of him still would.

 

But if Baekhyun passing away had taught him anything, it was to never leave loose ends frayed and much less with people who deserved closure.

 

He and Sehun may never be friends again but he needed his best friend there for him just one last time; one last goodbye.

 

He too whipped out a handful of bills and left them on the table, his untouched coffee left behind.

 

Hoping it wasn’t too late, he ran in the direction of the library and sighed in relief once he spotted Sehun only a few steps ahead of him, his height distinguishing him from the crowd.

 

“Sehun!” He called out, the boy turning around and puzzled at the sight of the other chasing after him. He cleared his eyes of the few stray tears he’d been unable to withhold, not wanting Chanyeol to see him so vulnerable.

 

“What?”

 

“I know we haven’t spoken in ages and that we didn’t really end things on a good note but-” A deep breath. “Baekhyun’s one year memorial is in two weeks. I was going to go visit him. Wanna come along, just for old time’s sake?”

 

****

 

And so there they sat two weeks later, back in the same spot where the waves reached the ends of their toes and the sun dipped into the horizon, a shared cigarette being passed along between them, and a small, brown teddy bear situated between them, the one Baekhyun had left them behind as a memory, something for them to remember him by.

 

Maybe on a subconscious level, Chanyeol knew this was the way things were meant to end up. Maybe that’s why up til now, he’d refused to open the letter Shinae had handed him in private after the funeral along with the toy before leaving him with a smile of solace.

 

Now, with his former friend sitting beside him, he felt it was appropriate to open it.

 

Together, just like Baekhyun would have wanted.

 

So they did, neither of them holding back anymore as they leaned into each other, brought together one last time by the same man who had tore them apart.

 

_Greetings, Space Cowboys!_

 

_I hope all is well for both of you, I know it is for me._

 

_I’m sorry for not telling you from the start, but finding out your plus one has cancer is kind of a major buzzkill, isn’t it?_

 

_It’s funny, though. When I found out I only had a few weeks left, I’d given up hope on everything. The dreams I had, the family I finally wanted to start, all the places I wanted to travel to, all the love I wanted to give… none of it mattered anymore. But then you two showed up in your beat up car, with your silly Code and an useless map and reminded me that life was so, so beautiful and still worth living for._

 

_When I was with you both, I realized I’d taken so much for granted and had so little time left to make up for it. You taught me to forgive even when in my soul all I’d ever known was resentment. You taught me that I was actually worthy of being happy for once in my goddamn life. There’s not enough lifetimes to thank you both for that. You boys did more for me in a couple days than most have done for me throughout my entire existence._

 

_If there’s one last thing I ask of you, though, it’s to take care of each other. Men come and go but a friendship like yours is eternal. Don’t let it go to waste. You need each other, even if neither of you realize it or are too stubborn to see it._

 

_Please don’t feel sad that I’m gone. Despite everything, all the fights and the tears, I hope the two of you can be at peace knowing you made a sad, dying man so tremendously happy during his last days. Every single moment with you two will forever be dear in my heart. I’ll never regret any of it and I can only pray you don’t either._

 

_So this is my goodbye, Cowboys. But before I go, I want you to always remember: life is like the surf, so give yourselves away to the sea._

 

_Till we meet again,_

 

_Byun Baekhyun_

 

END

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for taking the time to read this! I know it doesn't fall into the lines of traditional fanfics but the movie was too good to not translate it into a chanbaekhun story lol hopefully you guys enjoyed it c: 
> 
> Comments and kudos are super appreciated! Let me know what you think~ 
> 
> Come hmu on twitter too, if you want~ @flor_escent :)


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